


The mask slips

by TaumTaum



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2018-08-29 10:50:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8486524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaumTaum/pseuds/TaumTaum
Summary: During Snape's first week as Headmaster of Hogwarts Bellatrix Lestrange comes by with a celebratory gift. Not only does he have to continue playing dangerous political games, present the image of consummate Death Eater and keep the Hogwarts students safe. Now he also has Hermione Granger to take care of.





	1. Chapter 1

He hadn’t changed the office much since his promotion. In his mind, he didn’t deserve it, nor want it. This was only a temporary position after all, soon Potter would off the Dark Lord... Somehow and he’d be dead, probably by the hand of an ally, and someone else could be Headmaster of Hogwarts. Or Mistress, he thought idly, thinking of Minerva McGonagall's cold hatred when they passed each other in the hallways.

Soon, he promised himself, soon it would all be over. 

Until then he'd have to bear the disgust and disdain from his former colleagues, some of which he'd tentatively called friends. He'd have to carry on, pretending everything was dandy while the Carrows terrorized the students with all manner of punishment.  

Slowly, he exhaled and attempted to relax his shoulders. He rubbed a hand over his face, wondering if he looked as tired as he felt.  

Only a week into the school year and he already felt as if he was at the end of his rope. Behind him he could hear Dumbledore's portrait clear his throat.  

"You have visitors, my boy." The old headmaster said, not unkindly. 

Snape nodded heavily and stood, squaring his shoulders to take full advantage of his height. He could already hear the angry voices of Amycus Carrow and Minerva McGonagall. His lips twitched slightly upward, somewhat grateful that Minerva seemed to be giving as good as she got. The two angry professors spilled out into the office and both turned to Snape.  

Amycus had an expression of barely suppressed glee on his pudgy little face. "Severus." He greeted with an impatient tone.

As always when he came face to face with the Head of Gryffindor her lips thinned as she pressed her mouth closed. Almost as if she was physically trying to withhold what she really wanted to say. Her eyes were cold as she stared at him and her fists clenched at her sides.  

"Amycus..." Snape greeted softly with a nod "and Minerva. What is it-This time?" He flicked his eyes from one to the other. McGonagall didn't react but Amycus visibly flinched under Snape's regard. 

"She," the Death-Eater hissed, jabbing a finger at an offended looking McGonagall "refuses to accept my authority."  

"Authority?" McGonagall snapped angrily "You were publicly humiliating students!" 

"Because they refused to obey! And as deputy Headmaster I can do as I please!" 

Finally a flush made its way onto McGonagall's cheeks as she glowered at Amycus for pulling rank.

Snape took a deep breath and cut through whatever the head of Gryffindor was about to unleash upon the unsuspecting Carrow. "Minerva, it's time that you accept the new management of this school and the changes that brings with it." McGonagall abruptly turned back to him, as if she'd forgotten that he was there. She stared at him for a moment before she looked at a point over his shoulder. Dumbledore's portrait, probably.

For a second, Snape thought that she would let it go, that she knew the battle was lost. The look at the sleeping Dumbledore seemed to give her new hope, and instead she straightened and sent a piercing glare at Snape. To his consternation she seemed to be gearing up for round two. 

"Headmaster," Snape thanked Merlin that one of the portraits interrupted what was about to become an even tenser situation. He turned to one of the previous Headmasters questioningly. "Bellatrix Lestrange is at the entrance... She has someone with her." 

Just what he needed, he thought, Lestrange to join the party in his office. He suppressed a sigh and waved his hand in the direction of the Gargoyles and an amused cackle indicated the insane bitch was making her way up.

McGonagall paled and quickly took several steps back, closer to a wall. Clearly, she preferred to be facing the Death Eaters, as they outnumbered her three to one.

The expression on Amycus's face was a mix of excitement and trepidation. Everyone knew Bellatrix was like a loose cannon, generally amusing until it turned on you. 

He could hear the sound of the steps turning, as they lifted Bella and whoever she had with her up towards the office. As they came closer he could hear a hollow thump and pained moaning. 

"Ahh- Snape, I brought you a gift!" Bellatrix said, her tone airy and friendly as she breezed into the office. A hand securely wrapped around a mess of curly hair as she dragged a slight shape behind her. The girl stumbled over the last step and was almost hit by the door as Lestrange gave a sharp tug and her charge fell onto the hard floor with a whimper. She managed to bring up her arms before her head impacted with the floor. A few wisps of her long  curly hair touched the top of his polished black boots. He froze, staring at the curl for a few long moments and he felt oddly afraid to move his foot.

The office was deadly quiet as they all stared at the girl on the floor, her long dry hair covered most her head but there was something unmistakably familiar about her. 

Bellatrix finally looked up from the girl cowering on the floor, an expression of absolute delight on her worn features. "Dear me," she said with a too-wide smile "If it isn't Professor McGonagall." She smirked. 

Snape and McGonagall exchanged a quick glance, she looked as white as a sheet and her hands trembled by her side. The girl on the floor curled up on her side defensively and stilled with a whimper.

"Not the welcome I was expecting, truly." Bellatrix said sweetly. "I didn't interrupt, did I?" 

Snape cleared his throat, finally "Certainly not," he said with a dismissive wave "we're done here. Minerva- Leave us." He ordered and pointed at the door.  

McGonagall looked from the girl on the floor up to him, her eyes were wide with indecision. "Minerva-" he repeated slowly " _leave_. I am certain your Gryffindors are waiting for you." 

"Hmn." Bellatrix agreed with a high pitched giggle "This one certainly could have used your help..." She pushed at one of the girl's legs with the toe of her boot, her lips twisted in disgust. "She screamed so sweetly, but then all Mudbloods do." She smirked at McGonagall's horrified expression. Amycus's head swiveled so fast, looking between everyone in the office Snape started hoping his head would pop right off.

"Enough Bellatrix," Snape said, his voice was as quiet as a whisper "why are you here?" The urge to move his foot away from the girl crawled under his skin.

"As I said," she pouted "I bring you a gift. Clearly, I've been remiss in not trusting you-" she pointed around the office "I don't think I've had a chance to congratulate you." She looked around the office "For finally murdering the old coot, and your promotion, of course!" With a flourish she pointed at the girl on the floor, who'd gone still and who was bleeding if the smell of fresh blood was anything to go by. "I know how much you used to like Mudbloods." She trailed off with a wicked smile as she stared up at Snape "I thought you might like to show Granger her proper place." 

Snape stiffened and immediately threw up every Occlumency shield he had to stop any kind of reaction from showing on his face. He ignored the sound that escaped McGonagall and he didn't dare to look in her direction, afraid of what he might see. 

"Really Bella," he said calmly, sounding a little strangled to his own ears "you shouldn't have." 

"Oh, but I insist." 

"If you don't want her..." Amycus said with a peculiar expression of greed and lust on his face "I'll gladly take her." 

Another sound from McGonagall's side went ignored. "That won't be necessary Amycus." Snape swiftly interjected.  

"So you do want her!" Bellatrix cackled with glee. "I knew you hadn't changed a bit from the good ol' days, eh?"

"Yes," Snape said, managing to get his voice and tone under control.  "you've made your point. Now leave, I do have a school to run." 

"Of course, of course. A school to run..." Bellatrix threw her head back and laughed loudly. The sound grated against his ears and he fought to keep his face impassive. "Have fun-" the witch dragged out the last word and added a conspiratory wink. With a last kick to Hermione's unresponsive form she turned on her heels and marched out the door. 

"Amycus," Snape stated coldly, snapping the Death Eater out of his observation of Hermione Granger "escort Professor McGonagall back to her office." 

His deputy threw him a truly filthy grin "Of course, Headmaster I'll leave you to it. Come on then." He jerked his head in the direction of the door. 

"Severus..." McGonagall stepped closer towards Hermione Granger, looking up at him imploringly. He merely returned her gaze impassively, all his senses aware of the unconscious girl at his feet.

"Leave, Minerva." He said neutrally "there is nothing you can do here."

He watched them leave, McGonagall throwing worried looks over her shoulder while Amycus had a joyful spring in his step as he berated the older woman.

When they were out of view Snape looked down, bent over and gently removed the hair from his boot. The curl stubbornly circled around his fingers and he tugged it softly. He reached out and pushed away the rest of her hair, uncovering her face. Indeed, skinnier perhaps, and bruised. But it was undoubtedly Hermione Granger.

 

* * *

 

She woke up in a comfortable nest of blankets for the first time in what must have been a while. She frowned, scrunched her nose and blinked several times as the last vestiges of sleep left her. That's when her memories returned in sharp and painful details. 

Bellatrix's voice as she shrieked Crucio... Over and over and then- she gasped and sat up, staring at her right arm. It was swaddled in bandages and there was a surprising lack of pain. She flexed her muscles, feeling an odd twinge or two but nothing like the stabbing pain of before.

Hermione dropped her arm and finally stared around the room. She seemed to have found herself in a luxurious bedroom, sitting up in a bed easily triple the size of her bed at home. Or four times the size of the bed she'd had in the tent with Harry and Ron.

The blankets were a muted dark blue and they felt wonderfully soft on her skin. She was only wearing a torn tank top, which had been spelled clean. As had her skin, she thought with a frown, it always left a strange feeling.  She could tell by the residue of stains on the hem. Her panties were thankfully intact, even if her jeans had mysteriously disappeared.

Behind her there was a monstrous pile of pillows which seemed to serve a more decorative purpose than any practical one. The room was dark, though she could make out a sitting area down a few steps from the bed and the walls were lined with bookcases and cabinets.

The only light was a small spelled flame on the nightstand next to her. 

Hermione moved, ignoring the soreness and unpredictable twitches of her muscles as she scooted to the end of after pushing the blankets off her. She flinched as her bare feet touched the cold stone floor. 

"I believe," said a frighteningly familiar voice "that it would be best if you remained in bed." Snape walked up the stairs, holding two different colored potions in his hands. He was dressed in casual clothes, Hermione was surprised to see. A regular white cotton shirt, black trousers and socks.

Immediately, she reached for her wand and when she was unable to find it she scooted back on to the bed moving as far away from Snape as possible. 

"Miss Granger you're about to-" he was interrupted by her squeack of surprise as she reached the end of the other side of the bed and tumbled off. She lay there, stunned with her muscles twitching painfully. 

She flinched when she felt him grab her arms and legs and lifting her with a grunt and putting her back onto the bed. She could only stare at him dumbly as he moved back again. "You're still suffering from the after effects of prolonged exposure to the Cruciatus." He said softly, his voice even and tone neutral "It is best to keep still and relaxed. Take this."

He held out one of the potions and she took it gingerly, unable to look anywhere near him. "S- sir?"

"It will help with the muscle spasms."

She looked from the potion in her lap back up to him.

"I-" she slowly put the flask on the bed next to her "I'll be alright, s-" she cut herself off before she could address him politely and she quickly turned away from him. As she looked around the room again she realized it must be his quarters. The Headmaster's quarters.

"Very well." He said gravelly "If you prefer to be in pain." He shrugged as if it was no concern of his.

There was an uncomfortable silence then and Hermione fidgeted, plucking at the torn hem of her tank top. She pulled the blankets closer to her, covering her legs.

"Are you aware of the fact that you have been cursed?" 

Her hands tightened around the blankets, clutching them desperately as her knuckles turned white. She nodded mutely. 

"You know what happens if the curse is not... T- treated?" He stumbled only slightly over the last word. His response was another nod, and a good view of her head full of curls as she stared at the sheets in front of her.

"Mis- Hermione," he finally said and held up the second potion he carried with him. The potion was a clear blue color, with a slight overtone of purple on the bottom, she recognized it instantly and gulped. He trailed off and looked away, lost for words.

"What are you waiting for?" Hermione wondered aloud, still clutching the blanket to her. She used it to cover most of her slight frame. "Or are you waiting for the curse to run its course and then..."

"I assure you," he said gravely "I have no more desire to sleep with you than you with me. Perhaps-" he hesitated "Perhaps it is difficult to believe but I do not wish to see your talents as a witch to go to waste." He stepped closer and held out the potion to her "It's your choice."

She stared at the potion and then back at him, clearly confused. "Wouldn't it be good? To have one less mudbloo-"

"Don't use that word." He snapped angrily and shoved the phial at her.

"I-" she looked at the potion again. "I don't know..." But she slowly reached up to take it from his hand.

"Shake it," he intoned "and take three sips." 

She hesitated for a moment longer, shaking it very softly and then raised the phial to her lips and took three careful sips. She felt his eyes burning into her the whole time, the moment seemed to last an eternity. Once done, she held it out back to him. He nearly yanked it out of her hands, opened it and took three sips himself.

The reaction in him was immediately visible. His pinched brow relaxed and his shoulders sagged. With a grunt he sat down on the bed, not far from her.

"Why are you helping me?" She whispered softly, reaching out to graze his shoulder with her fingertips. 

He sighed, bent forward and slid a hand through his greasy hair. "Perhaps I am simply tired." He said softly and turned around, slipped her retreating hand in his. He turned her arm and pressed his lips to her palm intimately. Catching her eyes with a heated gaze.

Hermione's breath caught and for a moment she thought her heart had stopped until it commenced beating again, a furious flutter inside her chest.

"Potion works fast." She mumbled, a flush creeping on her cheeks. She closed her eyes and the feelings of heat intensified. She could feel a pleasant tingling sensation in her extremities and the rough drag of fabric against her nipples.

"Hmn." He agreed and slid towards her on the bed. She turned away shyly, sitting with her back to him and he took advantage of her turned head to gently move her bushy hair away from a shoulder before he pressed open mouthed kisses to her shoulder and up her neck.

She made a soft surprised sound and tilted her head, giving him more space to trail hot kisses over her skin. She moaned loudly when he sucked hard on her pulse point, the sound carrying to the corners of the room.

"I don't-" she started breathlessly "I don't know what to do..." She lifted her hands helplessly and they flopped back on the bed right as she arched into his touch with another moan.

"Hmn." He hummed, his hands sliding down her sides and to her hips. She twitched lightly away from his hands as they tickled her. "Relax, Hermione. That's all you have to do." He whispered into her ear, his tone low and breathy, causing her to shudder in pleasure.

His hands grabbed her tank top firmly and began to tug it up, his fingers grazed the skin of her breasts and she gasped. "Oh god." She lifted her arms, helping him take off the top and then she was naked but for her small sensible panties. She glanced over her shoulder, a red blush smudged across her cheeks and nose.

Severus could not deny to himself that she looked very lovely sitting in his bed the way she was. He hoped, in the back of his mind that it was the potion speaking.

His hand trailed down her back, briefly touching scars that were still an angry red. She arched her back and moaned again. She turned around and Severus took in her appearance, from the blush staining her cheeks to her nipples straining to be touched.

Shyly her own hands came up to him, touching his cheek first and then trailing down his neck to begin opening the buttons on his shirt. He waited patiently while he observed her as she was focused on her task.

As more and more buttons became undone her fingers began to shake after which Severus softly clasped his larger hand over hers. "Relax." He whispered and helped her unbutton the rest of his shirt. She gingerly touched his chest, wondering why he was so skinny if he lived on the Hogwarts’ fare every year. He grabbed her hands and pushed them away after a bit. She looked up at him searchingly.

"Come." He said and his arm went around her waist and side. He picked her up slightly and laid her down on the bed, her curls spread out like a halo.

He quickly unbuttoned his trousers before sliding on top of her, his naked chest teasing hers. She arched up into him eagerly. "It feels-" she whispered, clutching to the sheets on either side of her. She moaned unintelligently as he kissed his way over the soft skin of her belly, over her sternum and sucked a nipple into his mouth. She cried out in pleasure and her legs moved to wrap around his middle, pushing her hips to his wordlessly.

He groaned around her nipple as she wrapped herself around him. "Fuck." He cursed as he moved back, and cursed again when he sat back on his haunches and could see her laying before him, flushed and wanton.

"Pro- Sna-" She whispered questioningly as she sat up slightly, leaning on her hands behind her. She looked up at him shyly and bit her lip.

"What?" He said rudely, narrowing his eyes at her. The look didn't seem to cow her in the slightest.

"W- will you kiss me?"

He stared at her for a moment and shook his head in negative. "Once the potion runs out... You'll be glad." He gently tapped her shoulder and pushed her back onto the bed. She looked disappointed and nodded uncertainly but followed his directions.

"Spread your legs again." He whispered as a hand trailed over the curve of her ass and thigh.

Hermione made a choked noise and stared at him for several moments, he could feel her muscles tense under his hand. He stopped all movements and looked into her brown eyes. "If you've changed your mind, Hermione. Now would be the time."

Her breasts rose and fell with every breath and slowly she relaxed, closing her eyes. "Sorry, I mean- C- Continue." She mumbled softly and shifted her legs to either side of him. He moved his hand up her thigh, stroking firmly and slipped his fingers beneath her panties before he tugged them down gently. Meanwhile he caressed her nipples and placed more open mouthed kisses along the column of her neck.

"Relax." He repeated again between kisses and she moaned softly as a reply. She trembled as the tops of his fingers slid over her labia before gently parting her lips and sliding a finger into her. He twisted his wrist and slid a second finger into her, meeting no resistance. She was wet and hot and he could already feel her walls fluttering around his fingers.

"Good?" He whispered "Do you feel any pain?"

She shook her head furiously, her eyes squeezed closed. "It's good." She breathed "No pain." To punctuate the statement she let out a soft moan. "Hurry-" she demanded and tilted her hips eagerly to push his fingers deeper inside of her.

He looked from her swollen pussy stretched around his fingers to her face. So eager and willing, even without the potion he'd be uncomfortably hard. He thrust his fingers into her and stretched them, Hermione's responding moan was loud and if he hadn't already been uncomfortably hard, he would have been then.

Carefully he slid his fingers out of her, despite her protesting mewls. She shifted and eyed him curiously, her eyes widening a little when he used his still drenched fingers to push his trousers down. She gulped and looked away, before quickly glancing back, and away again.

Severus snorted and, finally naked, crawled on top of her. He nudged her thighs with his knee, until she made room for him between her legs while his hands supported his weigh on either side of her shoulders. She didn't need any prompting to slide her hands first over his chest and then over his neck before she pressed tiny kisses to his throat.

He sighed at the feeling of her tongue teasing his sensitive skin. "Hermione-" he started hesitantly  and she leaned back, looking up at him. "Tell me, in no uncertain terms, that you're okay with this." He looked no less intense than a minute ago, his dark eyes burning into hers.

Hermione looked surprised for a few seconds, averted her gaze and then nodded. "I- Yes. I- don't want to be a squib. I mean-" she gasped as Severus bent down and took one of her nipples into his mouth and sucked it hard while his tongue flicked it mercilessly. She arched into him, pressing her body to his. She could feel his hard cock at her center and she gasped eagerly.

Severus grunted and finally let go of her nipple, before he kissed his way up. He spread her legs and took his shaft into his hands to guide himself to her eager, wet opening.

He entered her firmly in one heavy stroke with her arms clutched around his neck and her legs wrapped around him. She arched and gasped, breathing heavily near his ear while she mumbled incoherently.

"Fuck." He cursed again, and loudly at the feeling of her tight heat around him.

He grabbed onto her waist and pushed her firmly into the mattress, holding on to her slim hips as he began to move. Sliding in an out, in an out as he slowly picked up the pace.

She moaned loudly with every thrust she arched into him and squeezed around his cock. He closed his eyes and let out a ragged breath before letting out a string of expletives.

Her eyes fluttered open and to meet his as they caught and locked on to each other. Severus kept pushing into her in a steady but demanding rhythm. Her pupils were dilated and her face flushed and for one moment Severus thought it was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Her eyes slipped closed and she tilted her head back as she tightened her legs around his hips and a loud moan sounded through the room.

"Please." She whispered feverishly "Oh- please." She pleaded with him, never breaking their gaze. She bit her bottom lip hard as she squeezed around him. He could only stare uncomprehendingly while he thrust into her. "Tell me." He said, his smooth baritone rolled over her and she tilted her head back, pushing her breasts closer to his chest. He leaned further, bowing over her until their lips were nearly brushing. He closed his eyes and pulled back, instead his hands clamped down on her waist and he slammed into her.

"Come." He intoned, one hand sliding down her belly to stroke her clit.

The mew she let out was downright filthy and he responded by speeding up his thumb as it circled her clit. "Hermione." He breathed, slamming home at every word "For fuck's sake-" She squeezed her eyes closed as her sheath clamped down around his shaft. He felt her nails dig into his shoulders as she let out a ragged gasp.

"Please- oh." She buried her face into his neck and moaned into his skin "It feels so good."

His answer was a choked growl as he continued to thrust into her until finally he could feel a familiar tightening sensation in his scrotum and with another string of expletives he came. He collapsed on top of her, with her arms still around his neck and her face pressed into his shoulder.

He could feel her tight walls tremble, still. He could hear the beat of her heart and smell sex and sweat in the air around them. With a groan he slipped out of her and fell next to her, completely spent.

Her eyes were closed and she sighed deeply, relieved as she could feel the peculiar itch of Ballatrix’ curse dissipate underneath her skin. She was too tired to contemplate anything else and soon she slept.

 

* * *

 

In the middle of the night Snape, still wide awake, finally slid out of the bed. He waved his hand dismissively, causing the sheet to tuck itself around Hermione’s sleeping form. With another wave he summoned his clothing and tugged them on.

When Snape made a third attempt to close the first button on his shirt he stopped and let it hang open. His hands were trembling too much. He stared at his hands and they seemed to blur for an instant, he blinked and shook his head. Then sought refuge in the Headmaster’s office, away from the student he’d slept with. It seemed that, in the last stretches of war, he'd have to abandon all morals.

Snape was not the only one still awake that night. On the other side of the castle Minerva McGonagall sat in her Transfigurations classroom, wide awake with a half-empty bottle of scotch next to a glass. Her usually tight bun was half undone, grey hair trailing over her shoulders and back. For decades she’d taught in that very classroom, teaching students, seeing them grow up from ickly firsties to grown young adults.

She grabbed the bottle and poured herself another stiff drink. If she squinted her eyes just right she could see a young Hermione Granger sitting in the front row, her hand waving in the air. A marked difference from the unconscious young woman at Snape’s feet.

She picked up the glass and poured it all down her throat, her hand clutched around the glass so tightly her knuckles turned white. She’d failed Hermione, as she’d failed Albus. Now young, brilliant Hermione was left to a Death Eater and Albus was dead.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Hermione woke to an empty bed, and she was terribly grateful for the reprieve as her thoughts turned over the previous night. She sat up and sleepily catalogued her remaining injuries. The bandages around her arm were loose but holding, she could still feel a twinge of pain when she touched them. She felt sore but the damnable twitching seemed to have stopped and she flushed red when she realized her leg and arm muscles weren't the only sore ones. Then there was the stickiness between her thighs, she tried not to think about that. 

Why had he saved her? Or rather, her ability to use magic. The conversation before they had sex only gave her a muddled sense of confusion. That thought inevitably led to remembering Snape's hands on her body, the way his voice had made her shudder in pleasure and his mouth trailing wet kisses up her neck. 

"Potent potion." She said softly, nodded and decided it was best not to spend too much time examining the previous night.  

She grabbed the blankets and twisted them around her as she scooted to the edge of the bed, determined to find some clothes. This dislodged a pile of them on the edge of the bed and they fell to the ground with a thump.  

"Oh." She said unintelligently and picked them up. They seemed to be men's clothes, though altered to fit her. Hermione slowly put on the shirt, still a few sizes too big and then the too-small trousers. She left the top button open after a few minutes of trying to close it and made sure the shirt hid the button. 

She sighed and plopped back down on the bed. At least she was dressed, and somewhat clean she thought ruefully. Though a bath would do wonders.  

Lestrange hadn't given her the opportunity for one, or for anything except pain and despair. While her memories about her time at Malfoy Manor were vague and her mind shied away from examining them closely, she was reasonably certain it had been at least a few days since she had been caught. 

Hermione's shoulders slumped when she recalled the night when she was separated from Harry and Ron. They'd only been away from Grimmauld Place for a short while when she went into a nearby town to buy food- or steal. With a few expert transfiguration spells she'd looked like a sweet blond, blue eyed woman. Very girl-next-door, Harry had told her cheerfully. 

As soon as she'd entered the town she should have known to turn back. Hermione squeezed her eyes closed as she remembered the feeling of cold and dread sinking into her skin, an unmistakable indication of the presence of Dementors. 

That's when she'd given herself away, and soon she'd been cornered by a group of Snatchers. Some hex had hit her, because the next thing she remembered was waking up in drawing room of Malfoy Manor and Bellatrix Lestrange had been standing over her. 

The following days... Hermione shook her head and realized that there was a harsh gasping sound coming from somewhere in the room. As if someone was drowning, inhaling desperately whenever they came above water. A detached part of her mind realized this conclusion was based on a movie she'd once seen on tv, and not so much on any personal experience. She felt heavy, as if liquid concrete was filling her chest and lungs, it hurt. 

It was only when she could feel a hand slide around her neck and up into her hair and his low murmurs reached her ears that she realized it was her that was making the frightening noise. 

"Hermione," Snape's voice intoned very calmly "open your eyes. Look at me."  

With a terrible effort, that intellectually she didn't understand, she opened her eyes and she stared into the black eyes of her former professor. This close up, she thought, she could almost distinguish the pupil from the black iris. 

"You're having a panic attack." He continued slowly, his lovely voice penetrating the fog of her mind. His hand in her hair tightened and gently pushed her head forward. For an insane moment she thought he was trying to kiss her.  

"Bend over, relax," he took her hand and put it on his chest "focus on my breathing." After years of being his class, obeying his commands was almost second nature to Hermione and she did as he said. She could feel his chest moving up and down under her hand and slowly she tried to stop the gulping breaths and instead match her breathing with his. 

She didn't know how much time had passed but eventually the loud gulping sounds abated, and the fog on her mind cleared. She became aware of a terrible burn in her throat and the soreness of her lungs. 

"What-" she croaked miserably as she tried to sit up. He shook his head. 

"Not yet, Hermione. Just keep breathing for a little longer." And he pushed down on the back of her head again. She mumbled something in protest but didn't try to sit up. 

Eventually, the grip in her hair relaxed and he detangled her curls from his hand. She sat up carefully and withdrew her hand from his chest. She felt strangely light headed and she touched her throat tentatively. 

"What-" she started and cleared her throat, wincing at the pain "happened?" She looked at him, crouching in front of her. A terribly uncomfortable position to hold for so long, she frowned. 

"A panic attack." He said, his voice still strangely calm and gentle. He stood with a soft groan and picked at the sleeves of his robes. "A not unusual occurrence after an extended period of time in the company of Bellatrix Lestrange." 

"I see." She said and winced at the pain in her throat. She looked away from the tall man standing in front of her while she sat on the bed where only a few hours ago they had... She cut off her own thoughts and blushed furiously. "T- thank you." She stammered "For helping." 

"Hmn." He merely responded and shrugged. At least she figured it was a shrug as she felt unable to look up at the direction of his face. Instead she focused intently on the lines of his shoulder and the folds of his robes "I will... Get you some potions, for your throat." He coughed and quickly turned on his heels, marching away. 

He returned with not one potion but several bottles. He sat down next to her and handed her a potion with a milky yellow color and the consistency of heavy cream. "For any remaining soreness." He said, with a pointed look at her legs. "Because you didn't take the-" he cut off his sentence as Hermione just tipped the potion back and gulped it all down. 

The coolness of the liquid was heaven on her abused throat. 

He held out the next potion "For your throat. It might hurt at first." 

She nodded and spoke quietly "Because of the eucalyptus. Only a small mouthful is required." 

"Correct." He nodded "Exactly phrased as your fourth year textbook." The disapproving tone was audible but Hermione didn't react and took a small sip before handing it back. 

"Now this." He held up a jar with a thick salve inside. "It's for the... Wounds on your arm and back." 

Hermione recoiled slightly "They don't hurt anymore." She said carefully. 

"Sufficiently healed, yes." Snape nodded while he stared at her thoughtfully. "It's to lessen the scarring."  

"Oh." She looked away blinking heavily "that's alright, sir." 

He frowned "Just sit still while I apply the salve miss Gr- Hermione." With that he sat down next to her, the soft bed dipping under his weight and tilting her towards him. He reached out for her arm first and she hastily drew it back. 

"It's fine. Not necessary at all." She repeated, a blush crawling up her cheeks. He glowered at her darkly and her immediate reaction was to lean away from him and avoid looking at him. 

"Give me your arm, Miss Granger." He spoke in a tone she recognized from class, whenever a student was stupid enough to defy him. 

"No."  

He looked as if he was considering holding her down with force but in the end he merely put the jar of salve on the blanket between them.  

"Apply it yourself then," he sighed heavily "there's no need to keep running around with such horrendous scars." 

She didn't respond and kept staring at the opposite walls of the living quarters. 

"Do as you please." Snape growled and stood, with a disapproving stare at her he swirled around and stepped towards the door. "I have duties to attend today. I will be locking and warding all entrances and exits. Don't try to run." He warned and left with a last glance over his shoulder. Down the a short staircase she figured lead to the Headmaster's office.  

She stayed seated on top of the bed, feeling forlorn. It wasn't as if she had a wand to escape with in the first place.  

 

* * *

 

"You must keep up the act, Severus!" Dumbledore cautioned with a hissed whisper. Severus looked over his shoulder and glared at the old man. The portrait didn't seem to be very impressed. "Hermione Granger must not know your true loyalties." 

Snape laughed, a bitter, angry sound. "I don't think you understand what that means, Albus."  

The previous Headmaster huffed. "Don't be so ridiculou-" 

"Albus," Snape turned to face him, crossing his legs "if you are suggesting I molest and torture her..." 

"That's not what I said at all!" Albus glowered "You purposefully misunderstand, this is a dangerous game you're playing Severus." 

"You ask of me to act as a Death Eater would, what do you think a Death Eater would do with the Muggleborn best friend of Harry Potter locked up in his chambers?" Snape shook his head and turned back to his papers, going over McGonagall's dozens of detention and point reduction requests. 

"Perhaps she can be relocated." Dumbledore suggested. 

"Bellatrix will be watching, even if only through the eyes of the Carrows... Or Draco." Snape dismissed with a wave of his hand. "Unless I hand her over to another Death Eater, there's nothing I can do." Snape looked up and frowned thoughtfully. "Perhaps if I was able to conjure a convincing fake..." 

"Then she'd know you aren't a Death Eater, Severus." Dumbledore said impatiently. 

"In which case," Snape said airily "keeping her here is the best option. Now let me work, old man. Otherwise I'll never get through the pile." He eyed the stack of parchments disdainfully. In his attempts to curb the Carrows' punishments he'd given the perfect opportunity to the other professors to give him mountains of extra paperwork.  

 

* * *

 

After Snape had left, Hermione took the opportunity to look around the chambers. The whole room was one open space, with the bed at one end on what appeared to be a dais. It was ridiculously big. On one end, leading towards the office, was a small sitting area. A few comfortable looking chairs around a small end table. Behind the seats there were huge windows, at least Hermione assumed they were windows as they were covered in heavy draperies. 

She sighed and wandered to the other end of the room, tall bookcases lined the walls and in the corner stood a simple desk. A few sheaths of parchment were scattered over it, and an open inkwell and quill. Otherwise it looked to be unused. Curiously, Hermione dabbed the tip of her pinky into the inkwell. "Dry." She murmured after she inspected the light black smudges.  

Between the desk and the next bookcase was a door, Hermione hoped it would lead to a bathroom of some kind. She sighed, relieved when the door opened and she entered a very pretty bathroom. There was a big, clawed tub with several faucets on one side of the room. Two sinks side by side in front of a big old fashioned mirror.  

Hermione hoped it wasn't a live one, the one in her dorm had always commented on her hair and her complexion. As she moved towards the sinks the mirror remained blissfully quiet. Hermione reluctantly stared at her reflection, her hair was a terrible mess. Though for once it didn't frizz, too greasy she thought idly. 

She brought up a hand and touched the reflection of her cheek, wondering if she really looked that pale. She flinched at the cold of the glass and quickly looked away. Her gaze fell on the black razor and several other knickknacks that covered the sink. Hermione blinked and picked it up, studying it for a moment. A few black hairs were still stuck between the sharp blades. 

With a shake of her head Hermione put the razor back, she'd never thought about Snape shaving. It seemed oddly human for the dour man. She giggled at the strange thought, and it abruptly ended in a strangled choke when she acutely remembered how it had felt when he moved on top of her and inside of her. The feeling of his heavy breathing in her ear and the way he'd ordered her to come, clearly his need to be in control extended to all parts of his life. 

"Oh god." She whispered and she had to clutch to the sink to keep from sliding to the floor. She shook her head furiously, feeling tears gather in her eyes. "I took a potion. To save my magic." She repeated that to herself until she stopped trembling and slowly let go of the sink.  

When she glanced up at her reflection she scowled and furiously wiped at her cheeks. Without another word she stepped to the tub and after trying some faucets she opened a few. Steam soon floated around the bathroom and when the bath was full she quickly undressed and lowered herself into the hot water. 

She squeezed her eyes closed until her skin stopped burning and she adjusted to the hot temperature. She washed herself slowly, using her hands to wipe at a few remaining dirt smudges across her arms and legs. When she felt her arm sting she realized that in her haste to get clean she'd forgotten entirely about the bandages. She quickly tugged them off. 

For a long time Hermione stared at the angry red scratches on her arm. Mudblood carved out of her flesh. Feeling unable to look at it any longer she submerged completely in the water, ignoring the stinging wound on her arm. 

As if a switch had been turned in her mind she began to scrub at the skin of her arms and belly and then between her legs, wanting to be rid of the evidence of the night before. She wished she could erase the past week from her mind all together. 

When Snape returned that evening he found an empty food tray on one of the end tables and Hermione asleep at the foot of the bed, curled up on her side. She'd rolled herself in the blankets until only the top of her head was visible, with the bushy curls spread out next to her.  

He sighed heavily and looked away, his gaze falling on the jar next to the bed. He bent forward and picked it up, sticky residue clung to his fingers. He smiled slightly at the thought that she'd used it. Then came the other dilemma, he turned around to observe the rest of the empty chambers. Where should he sleep? 

In the middle of the night he woke because of the familiar prickly feeling of being watched. He opened his eyes slightly, and glanced from beneath his lashes. Nothing. With a grunt, he sat up and looked straight towards Hermione on the other side of the bed. 

He made a soft surprised sound. Hermione was sitting up, still at the foot of the bed, and swaddled from head to toe in blankets. The way she was studiously not looking at him broadcasted that she'd definitely been staring.  

There was a long awkward silence during which he looked at her neutrally and she avoided acknowledging him. Soon she began plucking at the sheets. "What." She snapped. 

"What?" He repeated with an amused flick of his mouth. 

"Nothing." She mumbled and shifted so they weren't facing each other anymore. All he could see were the blankets and her hair spilling out of the makeshift hood around her head. 

"In that case," he said "go back to sleep, Hermione." And he demonstratively laid back down and tugged his own sheets over him. 

 

* * *

 

Days passed, as far as Hermione could tell. As there were no clocks or calendars in the Headmaster's chambers it was difficult to keep track of time. She spent it in a muddled haze of restless sleep and nightmares. Every time she closed her eyes she could hear Bellatrix cackle, and with that came the muscle contractions. 

Painful pangs in her legs, sometimes barely noticeable but sometimes debilitating agony. She'd fall down and have to crawl to the bed to ride it out. 

Psychosomatic, Snape called it, Hermione thought bitterly. One of the few words they'd exchanged since she'd been dropped at his feet. A potion wouldn't cure the muscle contractions, as there was no physical cause for them. The only pain relieving potions he was willing to give her barely put a dent in the pain. 

So she spent those early days in bed, or in the bath while her mind turned on her body as if to punish it all over again for the torture. Her only distractions were the coming and goings of Severus Snape, who apparently didn't spend a lot of time in his quarters, or was purposefully avoiding them. 

Sometimes she knew he slept in the bed with her, though not every night and never when she was still awake. She could only tell by a rumpled pillow and perhaps the lingering smell of potion fumes. He was careful to lock and ward the door to his office every time he entered and left and the one time Hermione had ventured towards the door knob it had jolted her hand painfully enough that she wouldn't go near it again. 

Her thoughts didn't wander as often to the outside world as they should. The perpetually dark rooms were both a haven and a torment. There was nothing to distract her from her experiences at the hands of Lestrange, but the rooms were also far from anyone who wanted to harm her. 

Despite everything, Snape seemed disinclined to harm her.  

It was on the sixth day since her arrival at Hogwarts that she found a stack of books at the end of her bed, sitting next to the usual tray of breakfast. She blinked blearily and threw off the blankets, scooting towards the edge of the bed to study the stack of books curiously. 

Most of them were familiar to her, either from classes at Hogwarts or personal favorites. Almost reverently she picked up the last book and opened it carefully. Her breakfast went ignored as Hermione sank into the familiar cadence of Hogwarts: A History. 

When Snape entered that night he vanished the remnants of a half-eaten dinner before he studied his former student, asleep on his bed. For once she seemed to be enjoying regular sleep, unlike the usual tossing and turning. He sighed as he observed the many books laying haphazardly around her. 

He turned back and stared at the door to the office and the chair he usually transfigured into a bed instead of using his own. He frowned, he was truly terrible at transfigurations. With another heavy sigh he pushed some books away and lay down on the bed, he'd be gone before she woke, as usual. 

Snape woke up the following morning to the quiet turning of pages. He focused closer on the sound until he could hear her relaxed breathing. He frowned and opened his eyes, blinking up at the dark ceiling. He turned on his side and stared at Hermione Granger as she sat with her legs crossed under her, and her nose in a book. 

She glanced up from her pages for a split second and then back down. She lifted the book higher so it would hide more of her face. 

"Good morning." She mumbled softly and added petulantly "If it's morning at all."  

"If you are confused about the time of the day miss- Hermione, perhaps you ought to open the blinds." He grumbled, immediately annoyed both at her and himself for sleeping too long. 

"The blinds?" She repeated dumbly and looked around the room "Where do I open them?" 

Severus narrowed his eyes and pulled his wand, and then paused as she flinched slightly. He stared at her as he twitched his wrist slightly and then- glorious and blinding light entered the room.  

Hermione gasped as she looked up, the ceiling directly over the bed was just like the one in the Great Hall. Warm sunlight pooled across the bed and the dais, lighting up the entire room. She squeezed her eyes closed and held her hands in front of them before she slowly blinked and allowed her eyes to adjust. 

When the door to the bathroom clicked closed she realized Snape had left the room. She smiled as she turned her arms around and watched the light play on her skin. After a while she slid off the bed and quickly put on her ill-fitting clothes. 

She was wrestling her hair away from her face when he entered the room again, his hair damp and wearing fresh clothes. She stopped and turned to look at him, in daylight for the first time he didn't look much better than usual. He was pale, and gaunt and too thin. His gaze avoided hers as he cleared his throat. 

"I apologize..." He looked profoundly uncomfortable as he spoke "It is often easy to forget how we rely on magic for our daily business." He glanced up at the giant sky window. "I did not realize you were unable to open the curtains." 

"That's- that's okay." She responded softly, awkwardly rubbing her arms "I didn't feel much like daylight anyway..." 

He nodded and then walked to one of the book shelves, she'd learned by experience that they were heavily warded. Though clearly not for him, he plucked a slim book from the long line of books and stepped towards her while holding it out. "First Steps for the Wandless Witch or Wizard." He said calmly "Perhaps this can teach you how to open them by yourself." 

Hermione stepped forward and nodded while taking the book. The handover seemed oddly formal to her. "Thank you."


	3. Chapter 3

Wandless magic wasn't easy, Hermione soon discovered. The best thing she could compare it to was nonverbal spellcasting, not something she'd had an easy time of either. After nearly seven years of pronouncing spells in an exact manner and waving her wand according to detailed directions it felt like an impossible task to forget _all of it_ and just wave her hands.

The book, however, compared the practice of wandless magic to Apparation and the three Ds used to teach students to Apparate. It was all about visualization and will, with an added tone of feeling magic.

By the end of the day, she felt thoroughly disgusted by the whole ordeal, and especially the book written with such vague notions as "feel the magic flow" and "visualize the spell" and "will it to happen"

Hermione threw the book on the side table and angrily stomped around the room with her arms crossed. When she reached the end of the room she turned and stomped to the other edge of the room, after which she shouted something unintelligible and kicked one of the chairs in the seating area.

"Ouch- Merlin's saggy freaking-" she groaned loudly as she hopped around comically while touching one of her feet.

She made her way to the bed and sank down onto it, before looking over her foot for injuries. Nothing. She felt like an idiot.

 

* * *

 

She stared at him with a scowl. "You can't keep me locked up here forever." Her arms were crossed in front of her. "People will be suspicious." She groaned in frustration as he continued to work at his desk, head bent over some parchments filled with his usual chicken scratch.

"Look-" she said after a short pause "I'm going insane here... I just want to see something that is not the inside of thes-"

"And what exactly do you propose? Would you like to go for a stroll around the lake, perhaps?" He said, his voice laced with heavy sarcasm, he turned to stare at her critically. She could feel his gaze as he looked her up and down, his expression clear that he found her lacking. Her breath hitched for a moment and she nearly flinched away. She gulped, she was well aware of what she looked like. Skinny, and pale with stringy hair and bruises under her eyes.

 "Anything." She breathed, pleadingly. She stepped closer, close enough that they'd be able to touch if she reached out.

Severus scowled, his eyes cold and black "No. Go back to bed. You look like you could use some sleep."

"I'm tired of sleeping!" She exclaimed loudly.

He shoved the chair back, it clattered to the floor causing her to jump in shock. He grasped her shoulders and shook, his face twisted in anger.

"And what do you expect me to do?!" He yelled, pushing her back until she hit one of the book shelves near his desk. "Perhaps I ought to return you to dearest Bella?" He suggested with a cruel tilt of his lips "Or Greyback? He knows how to enjoy a m- muggleborn."

She was gasping for breath, trembling underneath his hands as she stared at him with her eyes wide. He cursed and moved back, turning his back on her while mumbling something which sounded vaguely apologetic.

"You won't do any of those things." She said with confidence, breaking through her first reaction of panic.

He froze, and turned to her with narrowed eyes.

"You won't hurt me."

"What?" He whispered softly, and stepped closer.

"You don't have to..." She whispered and trailed off hesitantly.

"What?" He repeated dumbly.

She looked at him blankly for a moment and then tilted her head as if she wasn't sure if he was being serious. "You're obviously not a Death Eater." She said in a tone she used to take with Harry and Ron, when they'd missed something incredibly simple.

"N- not a Death Eater?" He hissed and waved at the room "I killed Dumbledore!" She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms with an unimpressed scowl. He glared at her "You're here as my _pet_! Hermione- You were cursed… And then- We- how could you even..." He trailed off and rubbed a hand over his eyes.

"We both took that potion." She said softly, stepping closer and almost reaching out for his hand. She thought better of it at the last second and quickly withdrew. "I still have my magic because you..." She paused to consider her words carefully. “Helped me."

"You're keeping me safe here, I understand that." She nods, a tone of pleading crawling into her voice "but please, it feels like the walls move in on me a little bit more every day."

He looked at her for a few long moments. Indecision, she thought, didn't suit the normally so confident man. Finally he nodded "Fine, but only for a few minutes." He turned away, not looking at her as he made his way towards his office.

Hermione bit her lip, unsure of what had happened before she followed him eagerly. She bumped into his tall form as he stopped in front of the door to release the wards to allow her through.

"Sorry." She mumbled.

He grunted something rude and she rolled her eyes right when she could feel the wards drop. A shiver of excitement ran through her, finally someplace else! Snape seemed to sense it and he looked over his shoulder.

"If you try to run..." He trailed off, allowing the threat to hang between them.

"I won't." She said "That would get you in trouble..."

He didn't answer for a long few moments "You're very observant." He finally said neutrally and opened the door. Hermione bit her lip and glanced away before following him. They stepped into the Headmaster's office, which still looked as if Dumbledore had merely gone out for a cuppa.

They both came to a complete halt when they came face to face with a Gryffindor and a Ravenclaw. Ginny and Luna were guarding the entrance to his chambers while Neville was oblivious with his back turned towards them and had a heavy object in his hands, holding it over his head, ready to break a glass container in one of the corners of the office.

Ginny, surprisingly, was the first to react she lifted her wand and cast a stunner. Snape however was a faster dueler and he quietly dispersed the curse and sent a non-verbal petrificus totalus back. She toppled over and fell to the hard ground with a loud thump.

By then Neville turned around and attempted to throw what appeared to be a heavy gold candelabra at Snape. With a snap of his wand Neville was on the floor and bound tightly with ropes. The Headmaster then turned to Luna "Next, Miss Lovegood?" He suggested coldly.

Luna shook her head and raised her arms in the universal sign of surrender. "Hermione doesn't seem to be doing very well, sir." She said calmly.

Snape spared a glance to Hermione sitting on the floor, pressing herself against the wall with her eyes squeezed shut and her fingers clutching her robes, he could hear her tiny whimpers. He carefully stepped over her and with a wave of his wand he summoned Luna's.

"You have more immediate concerns, miss Lovegood."

She regarded him steadily and nodded. He blinked and turned to look down at Neville rolling on the ground, attempting to escape his ropes.

"Detention, all three of you." He spoke silkily. Neville stopped rolling to glare up at him defiantly. "Some time in the Forbidden Forest ought to do wonders for your attitude." He smirked "The new regime is not quite as lenient with wayward Gryffindors."

 

* * *

 

"I'm sorry..." She said with a sigh and rubbed her eyes, her cheeks were a slight red, the only sign of her embarrassment. "The spell flashes... I was thrown back there, to Malfoy Manor."

"I understand." He handed her the cup of tea.

"And Ginny... She just kept staring at me... Horrified."

"You know why Bellatrix... Brought you here, of course?"

She nodded and grimaced. "She rambled about it... Between Crucio." The cup trembled in her unsteady grip. Hermione frowned glared at her hand until it stopped shaking. "I... Didn't realize- though I should have-" she added hastily "I should've realized the students would know."

Snape sat opposite of her in one of the comfy leather chairs. He sighed and sipped his own tea. "The Carrows have been gloating about the capture of one of Harry Potter's best friends."

"And her consequent degradation, no doubt." Hermione glowered at one of the trays filled with biscuits. "It must be difficult for you." She said hesitantly, with a glance to the dour man opposite of her.

He stared at her dubiously for a moment before he shrugged, uncomfortable with her regard and said dismissively "Nothing is being said that hasn't been said before." Hermione sighed.

"I suppose there's not much of a chance to see the outside of these rooms again, hmn?" She mumbled, though loud and clear enough for him to hear. She tucked her feet close to her body and leaned her chin on her knees. He didn't respond immediately and Hermione dropped her hopeful gaze.

"No..." He said slowly "But we'll need to find a location where no one is likely to intrude." He frowned.

"And perhaps wards to alert you that someone is in the office." Hermione suggested with a slight smile and another glance at him.

Snape picked up his own cup and sipped. "They exist, I was merely distracted."

"Oh." Hermione flushed "I'm sorry." He made a noncommittal sound and they drank the rest of their tea in silence. When she put the cup back on the saucer Hermione unfolded her legs and stood slowly. She stretched, the borrowed shirt riding up past her belly button.

She quickly dropped her arms when he snorted and she frowned. "What?"

He waved his hand at her "I'll see about getting you clothes that fit better." Hermione immediately reached for the button of the pants she was still unable to close. "I'll admit..." He paused for a moment "that I was unsure what to do with you- I-" he glanced away from her.

"It's alright." She said as she tugged the shirt down over the pants and shifted awkwardly. "Si- Professor-"

"Call me Severus." He cut her off. "Under the circumstances I'd prefer not to be reminded that I was your professor for nearly seven years."

She nodded uncertainly "Severus-" she felt the name roll off her tongue, it felt strange and a little wrong to be calling a professor by their first name. "Have you heard anything about Harry? Or anyone from the Order?"

"The Order has all but disappeared." He said while pouring himself more tea "Most have been able to keep their jobs and lives, by keeping their heads down. Minerva for one, and most of the Weasleys." He sighed "Shacklebolt and a few others have had to go underground, as far as I know... They haven't been able to do much."

"Potter hasn't been seen since your ill thought out attempt to infiltrate the Ministry." He looked up at her with a disapproving frown.

Hermione blinked and straightened "Excuse me? I'll have you know our mission at the Ministry was successful!" She said primly and pointed at him accusingly. "Sure- things could have gone a little smoother- and Harry did take us on a bit of a detour- but we didn't die and... We got what we needed." She crossed her arms and huffed while he stared at her keenly.

"What exactly-" he began softly "were you acquiring?" Both froze and stared at each other. Hermione's hands twitched slightly and she opened and closed her mouth several times before clamping her lips shut.

"I suppose I should have expected that to be the end of your trust." Snape spoke. When Hermione remained silent "It's a good thing," he continued blithely through the awkward silence. "Keeping Potter's secrets. Especially to someone dangling so close to the Dark Lord."

Hermione frowned at the strange turn of phrase.

"I-" she pressed her lips together and moved from one foot to the other. "Tell me you're not a Death Eater."

He looked up at her, eyebrows pinched in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"Tell me you're not a Death Eater... And I'll tell you."

"Are you under the mistaken impression that a Death Eater isn't allowed to lie about being a Death Eater?" His mouth twitched in amusement "Like the police, perhaps?"

Hermione laughed, a surprised but pleased sound. "That's an urban legend, actually." She smiled at him and then let out a deep breath. "Headmaster Dumbledore told Harry not to tell anyone but Ron and I." She said as she fidgeted with the too-long tails of her shirt, sneaking glances at him.

Snape seemed to be deep in thought as he stared at the cup in his hands. "In that case," he finally suggested "you should continue to keep it a secret."

"Ok." She agreed softly, worrying her lip for a moment. "I'm going to wash up and go to bed." She pointed at the doorway leading to the bathroom.

He grunted in agreement, his focus back on his cold tea. "Have a good night."

"You too."

And she made her way to the ostentatious bathroom, before closing the door behind her she glanced over her shoulder at the form of Headmaster Snape, still bowed over his tea. She sighed and closed the door firmly.

 

* * *

 

It was the middle of the day and Hermione was angrily eating a sandwich while she stared ahead of her. He balefully eyed her as crumbs fell onto the bed sheets and he could hear the rhythmic chomping as she grinded the food in her mouth to dust.

The chambers were still lit by cheerful daylight, the sheets on the bed were rumpled and now also home bits of food. Two of the heavy chairs in the seating area had fallen over.

"Have we had ourselves a bit of a temper tantrum?" He said nastily.

She glared up at him. "I suppose you'd recognize the signs." She bit back.

"Excuse me?" He asked, he eyed her with a faux calm expression.

Hermione glared up at him and then averted her eyes, she remained silent. She dropped her sandwich on the tray next to her and grabbed Hogwarts: A History, determined to ignore him.

"Hermione." He said "I think this... If we want this arrangement to work then-"

"You mean the arrangement where I'm stuck in these rooms without a wand and I can't even close the bloody curtains?!" She yelled, suddenly exploding. She'd jumped up and pointed at the ceiling above her. This caused the heavy book to fall to floor, pages first.

"Oh no-" Immediately her tone changed to genuine worry and Snape brought up a hand to rub his forehead while Hermione picked up the book, clucking worriedly over a few bended pages.

"I'd prefer if you didn't take out your frustrations with wandless magic on me, my chambers... Or on my Anniversary Edition."

She flushed beet red, clutching the heavy book to her chest. "I'm sorry-" she whispered "I- I didn't mean to and I've just been so frustrated that I can't get it to work and-" Hermione trailed off and she chanced a glance up at Snape's impassive expression. "I'm sorry- It won't happen again, sir."

"Don't call me sir." He said shortly.

"Right. Sorry." She gently put the book on the bed behind her and then turned her attention back to her former teacher.

Snape opened his hand and the book about wandless magic flew into his hand. She frowned and mumbled something distinctly unpleasant.

"What exactly is troubling you?" He asked, gathering as much of his patience as he could.

"The book is rather vague, that's all. I don't know what it's talking about."

He opened it on a random page and flipped through it. "You'll have to be more specific than that."

"Fine." She crossed her arms "It talks about allowing magic to flow through your fingers as it usually does through your wand."

He closed the book and nodded "Yes, that's the basis of wandless magic. Enacting the same processes but merely without a wand. I would have expected this to be easy for you."

"What if we were too late? What if the curse already took my magic?" She turned to him desperation written over the contours of her face.

"Don't be ridiculous." Snape growled "I assure you, we were not... Late."

They both averted their eyes awkwardly.

"But then what does it mean? I don't know what this magic flowing thing is." She said "When I had my wand I just-" she waved her hand in an intricate and immaculately accurate movement. Snape finally realized why McGonagall and Flitwick loved her to bits.

"You... Performed the steps as they were explained and you achieved the desired result?"

"Yes!" she nodded vehemently.

“Merlin save me.” He rolled his eyes and Hermione frowned, completely taken aback “Six years of magical education, teacher’s pet of half the staff and no one _noticed_?”

“Noticed what?” she narrowed her eyes at him and glanced down at herself as if to check if there was anything to notice.

“Hermione, a wizard or witch doesn’t generally wave their wand and magic happens, you have to regulate the flow of your magic.”

She stared at him uncomprehendingly and, if he was reading her correctly, with a tinge of suspicion.

“I’m not joking.” He said seriously, “Or lying.”

He continued when her expression didn’t change. “When you cast a spell you…” he trailed off and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Bloody hell, this is elementary- Hermione. How could you not know?” Hermione crossed her arms defensively and kept silent.

“Fine.” She finally said “So I can’t do wandless magic, big deal.” She scoffed, though the way her hands were clutching at his transfigured shirt told a different story.

“You don’t understand,” he spoke softly “It’s not just wandless magic. It affects all your casting…” He shook his head and looked at her mutinous expression.

“If this is so elementary why didn’t it ever come up? Why haven’t I read about?”

Snape thought about this for a while “My first guess would be that it is considered so innate to casting spells that most people take it for granted. It would be like writing that water is wet, or quills are used for writing. Especially, since most- if not all books of this nature would be written by purebloods, they grow up with this information.”

Hermione chuckled while she shook her head slowly. “Of course.” She said to herself with a brittle smile before she sank down on the bed. Snape stared at her with narrowed eyes, unsure what to make of this reaction. He pressed his lips together and looked around their chambers.

Hesitantly he spoke, attempting to be reassuring “It isn’t the end of the world, Hermione. You can still learn- usually this is caught much earlier during charms or transfigurations.” She remained silent, staring straight ahead and not even acknowledging he’d spoken.

“In that case,” Snape said with a sneer “I’ll let you sit here and wallow. Perhaps a few more days of laying around will help.”

Again he received no reaction, aside from the minute tensing of her shoulders. He huffed and turned on his heels, leaving Hermione to her thoughts.

 

* * *

 

Snape sat in his office, listlessly stirring a cup of coffee. Another high stack of Discipline Request Forms leaned over to the right dangerously close to toppling over the edge of the desk. It was the third stack in as many days, he wondered how the professors even had the time to fill in so many.

He pushed the top of the stack slightly until it stood up right again before taking off the top form.

Filius Flitwick was requesting if he could take one point off Hufflepuff because one of the first years had forgotten to bring an extra quill to class.

Perhaps Flitwick wanted to hand over the first year punishments to the Carrows all together, Snape thought nastily and then sighed deeply.

He had to accept that the initial plan to keep the students safe was not going to keep working. He didn't have the time for the discipline forms and running the school and whatever he was supposed to be doing with the despondent girl in his rooms.

Their discussion the previous night was still fresh in his memory. His first plan to ply her with books so she could get out of the worst of her bleak mood seemed to have backfired. He glanced up at the portrait of Dylis, perhaps she had more advice as to how to deal with a teenager?

With a disdainful huff he dropped Flitwick's request form from the edge of the desk and watched it slowly float into the bin next to it. He rubbed the bridge of his sizeable nose. With another sigh he pushed back his chair and opened the door to his quarters.

"Hermione?" He called as he stepped up the stairs.

"Hmn?"

She was sitting on the bed, as usual. Perhaps he considered, he should add some variety to his rooms. Then realized it would be noticed, and he certainly didn't want to draw Minerva's attention to what he was up to in his rooms... With Hermione Granger.

"What?" Her voice pierced his thoughts.

He started and his eyes focused back on Hermione sitting on the bed, the drapes usually covering the magical ceiling were open and moonlight spilled into the rooms. She was looking at him questioningly.

"Will you-" he looked over to the little seating area "join me for tea?"

Hermione frowned and nodded, she closed the book and slipped off the bed before slowly walking towards him. In her expression he could read caution, with an unhealthy dose of curiosity. He knew she wasn't supposed to trust him, or realize he wasn't a Death Eater but now that _someone_ knew...

"You seem thoughtful tonight." She said lightly, as she came to a stop at one of the chairs. She waved her hand and one of the lights around the sitting area seemed to flicker, but then didn’t. She frowned and waved again, the lights stayed out.

"Merely a lot on my mind." He replied and when he flicked his hand the lights turned on as if he'd used a wand. Show off, she thought uncharitably.

"Bristol." He called as he made his way to the chair opposite of Hermione. An old House Elf popped into the room, startling Hermione. She eyed the House Elf curiously as she sat down in her chair. Bristol was wearing a spotlessly clean pillow case with the Hogwarts insignia displayed proudly on the hem.

"Bring us some tea, please." Snape requested politely.

"As the Headmaster wishes." Bristol said solemnly, his voice was muffled by age, and disappeared with a crack of his fingers.

"Bristol is the Headmaster's personal elf." Severus explained to Hermione "As the portraits in my office, he is under oath to not reveal anything or anyone of what I require of him..."

Hermione nodded "So he can't gossip about my presence." Severus inclined his head in agreement just as Bristol returned from the kitchens. He brought with him a nice tea set and a small platter of biscuits.

"Bristol?" Hermione spoke up, the elf put down the tea and turned to her with a frown "I assume you're the one who's been bringing me my meals..." When he didn't acknowledge her she merely continued "I just want to say thank you."

"It is what is expected of me, miss." He said and turned to regard the Headmaster expectantly. When Snape nodded Bristol disappeared.

"I'm afraid he was very loyal to Dumbledore." Snape said grimly and leaned forward to swirl the tea pot a few times before pouring them both a cup.

"I see." She murmured as she picked up her cup and cradled it in her hands. They sat in silence for a bit, while Snape thought about how he wanted to approach the difficult subject he had in mind.

"H- how are you?" He eventually settled on and looked at her.

"Uhhh-" Hermione stammered unintelligently "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Well-" he cleared his throat "would you feel up to discussing what happened... Before your arrival here?" He frowned when Hermione wouldn't meet his eyes, or look anywhere near him.

"I don't see why it would matter- I was captured, Bellatrix had some... Fun. And then she dumped me here."

"Was Bellatrix the only one having... fun?"

"Yes," she nodded "sometimes there were others. Watching." She trailed off and then blinked rapidly before focusing back on Snape. "But she was the only one, who- had fun." She put down the cup forcefully and what little tea was still in spilled over the edges.

"What does it matter anyway?" She stood up and walked away from the sitting area. "I'm here now, right? And- and I don't have to go back?" Hermione asked, suddenly fearful. She wrapped her arms around herself. "Right?"

"Hermione..." Snape stood, though he did not approach her "As long as it is feasible for me to manage... I will keep you safe here."

She nodded and smiled slightly "Okay. Great. I'm going to take a bath." She didn't wait a second before she turned and nearly ran towards the bathroom leaving Snape by himself with the steaming pot of tea.

He sighed and sat back down, after a moments deliberation he ate a biscuit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know what you think :)


	4. Chapter 4

Snape put down a tiny, tiny desk on the floor while Hermione hovered behind him curiously. She couldn't keep a smile off her face, it wouldn't have looked out of place in an old dollhouse. Her former professor turned and narrowed his eyes at her. 

"What are you so amused about?"  

She bit her lip while shaking her head "Nothing."  

Next he took a tiny chair out of his pocket and put it in front of the desk. Hermione slapped her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. She quickly turned it into a cough at Snape's venomous glare. He straightened and pulled out his wand. With a quietly muttered Finite the desk and chair grew to human proportions, he pushed it against one of the book cases. 

"Shouldn't we move the books first?" Hermione asked, eyeing the now inaccessible shelves. 

"Don't worry," he said, amusement coloring his tone "this is the divination section. One might say," he glanced at her, his dark eyes glittering "it's for the books' protection. Wouldn't want you to throw them down the stairs in a fit of pique." 

Hermione crossed her arms in front of her and glared at his back as he walked past her to pick up a pile of new books.  

"Does everyone in this school know about that?" 

"Certainly," Snape said easily. "Us teachers have nothing better to do than gossip about our students." He put down the books on the desk with a dull thud and thought for a moment and amended "Some of us teachers." 

"Obviously not you." Hermione said with a slight smile. 

"Obviously." He agreed as he turned to her. He answered her smile with a minute upward twitch of his mouth. Hermione grinned back. 

"Right- uh-" she stammered "Um, thanks for the desk. And the books." She stepped closer, close enough for his robes to nearly touch her.  

"You're welcome." He rumbled, eyeing her speculatively and then suddenly tore his gaze away "I also had a short conversation with Flitwick, about your... Situation. According to him if the student is older-" he trailed off at her frown. "What?" 

"You talked to Professor Flitwick, about me?"  

"Miss-" He frowned in annoyance "Hermione- I've been doing this for longer than you've been alive. No, of course I didn't talk to Flitwick about _you_. We had a semi-civilized conversation about an older half-blood witch who was raised by a single muggle parent." 

Hermione blushed and murmured a soft apology. "I didn't mean to doubt your skills at subterfuge, Severus." 

"Yes well," he glanced away from her "with your friends being who they are, I'm sure you had to explain the simplest concepts to them." 

She rolled her eyes and didn't deign to respond.  

"What did Professor Flitwick say?" She prompted. 

"First he attempted to ascertain I didn't murder the parent," He barely managed not to roll his eyes, causing Hermione to giggle until he continued "after which he explained to me that when the student is older, the easiest way is to demonstrate how magic flows. Of course, usually, the student isn't any older than 14 but the concept should be the same." 

She cleared her throat, uncomfortable at the reminder she'd been doing magic wrong since she was eleven. "How do you demonstrate?" She asked curiously. "If it's something the caster _feels_?" 

Snape looked a little uncomfortable and, if she wasn't mistaken, a little nervous. This merely made her even more curious. Hesitantly, he pulled out his wand again and after a moment's consideration he held it out to her, handle first. 

He huffed at her stunned expression and pushed it closer to her. She took the wand gingerly, the feel of the dark piece of wood foreign in her hands. It felt completely different from her own, which had been destroyed under the boot of a gleeful Bellatrix. The wand certainly felt powerful, she shivered at the unfamiliar sensation that crawled up her arm. 

They stared at each other for a while, his wand held loosely in her hand.  

"Now what?" She asked carefully. 

He blinked and nodded. "Right." He stepped closer to her and then froze as her hand with the wand raised automatically. She quickly dropped it murmuring another apology. Thankfully he ignored it and ordered her to turn around.  

She startled a little when she could feel him at her back, his arms slid underneath hers and he slowly took hold of her right hand which clutched at his wand. His larger hand covered her smaller one, the tips of his fingers touched the wand. 

"Alright," he said quietly "the point of this exercise is for us to cast together, because we're connected and using the same wand," He shifted his grip on her hand slightly "your magic should respond to mine- and vice versa." 

His voice was a cool murmur in her ear. She had to suppress a shiver at the feeling of his breath on the back of her neck. Hermione nodded. "O- okay, you want to now?" 

"Yes." He nodded and tightened his grip on her hand "First, we'll turn on the lights in the sitting area."  

As one they both turned to the sitting area and she lifted their arms. He shook his head and she could feel his long hair against her temple. "Let me do all the work." He corrected "Just focus on feeling what is happening." She nodded uncertainly. 

"Lumos." He said clearly and waved their hands and wand in the well-known pattern. The lights turned on. 

Hermione frowned and twisted her neck so she could glance up at him. "Um- What am I supposed to feel again?" 

He frowned back, tightened his hand on hers and cast a Wingardium Leviosa at one of the chairs in the room, he kept it hovering in the air for a few moments before cancelling the charm. Hermione gasped and stepped back, closer to him.  

"Alright-" he said slowly "again."  

She gulped and nodded "It felt like- Like- I don't know. It tingles." 

Hermione flushed red when she could feel his chest at her back vibrate with what could only be a suppressed chuckle. He raised their joined hands and waved his wand, sending a feather-weight charm at the chair. 

"Whoa." Her arms tensed under his and she suddenly pulled away, her cheeks were still tinged a pale pink. He immediately released her hand and stepped back.  

"That's- Very- um. Intense." 

He made a non-committal noise. "Perhaps because you're not used to it, usually it is just part of casting. By regulating the flow of magic inside of yourself you cast spells of varying strength, extend duration even the brightness of the spell if you wanted." 

"Oh." She said "I thought that was tied to emotions- My spells were always stronger when I was under pressure. Or out of my mind with fear." She thought back to the battle at the department of Mysteries. 

"Emotions are a heavy influence on casting, yes." His hand twitched and he eyed his wand. "However, they can be uncontrollable. The best duelists try to cut off emotions when casting, that way they can optimize how much energy they are using."  

"Ah." She nodded and rubbed her arm covered in goosebumps. "Err-" she looked down at his wand hesitantly "Can I try? By myself?" 

Snape eyed her for a moment before nodding. "Try with an easy spell, since your focus will be on feeling how the magic runs through you." 

She nodded and turned back to the chair, raising his wand. "Wingardium Leviosa!" 

 

* * *

 

Hermione opened the door to the rooms with a happy sigh, steam immediately trailed out of the bathroom and into the main chambers. Her hair hung down her back in wet curls, dampening the white shirt. She stilled when she realized she was not alone. 

"Severus?" She said softly, unsure. "You're back early tod-" she trailed off when she took a better look at him.  

He sat on the edge of the bed, with his feet wide apart. He was hunched forward with his elbows leaning heavily on his thighs. He held his wand between his hands, slowly turning the wood in circles, she could almost feel the tension in his shoulders from across the room. 

When he looked up she nearly flinched. He looked deathly pale, as if what little life he had, had been leeched out of him. His eyes dark eyes were cold pits of despair as he stared at her. Slowly, she stepped towards him, he stared at her the whole way but remained quiet until she stood in front of him. 

"What happened?" She murmured, eyeing his wand with trepidation. 

"Nothing I shouldn't have expected." His voice, which was usually a thing of beauty, sounded cold and mechanical.  

"Are you occluding?" 

He looked up at her with a flicker of surprise. 

"It's not working very well." She said softly while looking him in the eyes. He frowned and scoffed. 

"What happened?" She repeated. 

He opened his mouth, and closed it again. He squeezed one end of his wand hard and sparks shot out the other, burning the palm of his other hand lightly. He cursed and withdrew, his brows lowered as he felt a sudden burst of anger. It immediately dissolved when Hermione grabbed his wand, gently slid it out of his grip and dropped it to the blankets next to them. 

For a moment he looked like he might snatch the wand back but instead he relaxed a little and stared over Hermione's shoulder with a blank look.  

"I used the cruciatius today." He whispered and Hermione gulped, the muscles in her legs twitching in an almost pavlovian response "On a student." He looked at her with desperation and repeated "On a student." His voice tapered off as if he couldn't quite believe it himself.  

Hermione stood there, lost for words as she stared at the man in front of her. He looked up at her with a pleading expression although he did not know what he was pleading for.  

Slowly, she sat down next to him after pushing away his wand to the very edge of the bed. She leaned against him for a few moments and tugged his arm. He didn't resist when she pushed away his other arm to make space before she carefully crawled into his lap until her legs were on either side of his and she sat on his thighs.  

"What are you-" he started but she hushed him gently, curled her arms around his neck and hugged him closely. She could feel him take a ragged breath and his hands hovered over her back indecisively as she tucked her head under his chin. 

His hands slowly pressed into her shoulder and back before his arms encircled her body and he clutched her to him with another ragged breath. She felt him tremble slightly, small jerks of his shoulders and she merely squeezed tighter before she relaxed into the embrace. 

They sat like that for a long time, Severus had stopped feeling his legs a while ago but still he did not want to let go. He stared at the wall opposite of them, half his vision was obscured by Hermione's drying hair which became bushier by the minute. He let out a long breath and slid his hands up and down her back.  

"Thank you." He whispered softly, closing his eyes.  

"Hrmn." She murmured and merely shifted closer to him. It was with surprise Severus realized Hermione had fallen asleep. With some effort, as he attempted not to move Hermione, he kicked off his boots and gently leaned to the side to lay down with Hermione still in his arms. 

She made a small noise of protest, opened her eyes slightly and blinked. Her arms went back around his neck and she rolled into him. She mumbled something, too softly to understand and went right back to sleep. 

Severus closed his eyes and pressed a tiny kiss to her temple before succumbing to sleep himself. 

 

* * *

 

The next morning he groggily woke to the sound of casting. He blinked, suddenly wide awake and sat up staring at Hermione who had her back turned to him. In one hand she was holding _his wand_. In the other one of her many books. 

She raised his wand and began an incantation until she cut it off, muttering to herself. 

"Nonono- that doesn't feel right." 

She put down his wand on the side table and waved her hand "Wingardium Leviosa!" A pillow on the ground shifted for a moment but remained on the floor. Her shoulders slumped and when she reached for his wand again, he quickly summoned it to him. 

She immediately turned on her heels, finally realizing he was awake. She opened her mouth to greet him but quickly shut it at his venomous glare. 

"And what exactly are you doing?" His voice was still hoarse from sleep but the tone of anger was undeniable. He clutched his wand in his hand tightly. 

"Ah-" Hermione shivered, reminded of all the times Snape directed that voice to Harry in class. She pointed at the pillow uncertainly "practicing? I didn't mean to wake you." 

"Perhaps next time you should ask before taking liberties with my wand." 

"I'm sorry." She said quietly, her surprise evident before her shoulders hunched and she ducked her head. "I didn't think-" 

"What? That I'd _mind_?" He snapped incredulously "Surely, you've figured out the basic customs of our world by now? Being raised by muggles doesn't give you a free pas to ign-" his rant was cut off by the sharp click of the bathroom door. He gaped after her, having missed her exit entirely.  

With a grunt he threw off the blankets and stalked to the door.  

"Miss Granger." 

"I apologize, sir." Her voice was muffled by the door between them but sounded clear. He narrowed his eyes at the wood threateningly "It won't happen again." She said, this time it sounded distinctly wobbly. 

"Miss Grange- Hermione, open the door." 

"No. Please leave me alone." 

Snape eyed the doorknob but before he could open it himself he could hear the sound of the shower turning on. He sighed, feeling like a complete bastard, which just made him angry again. She'd been the one to take his wand without his permission.  

"Fine." He grunted, uncaring if she could hear over the sound of the shower. He turned away with a scowl and retreated to his office.  

Inside the bathroom, Hermione sat with her back against the door. She relaxed when she heard him move away. She pressed her forehead to her knees and let out a long, shuddery sigh. At least, she thought, practice helped as she glanced up at the shower on the other side of the room. 

For a moment, she tried to remember exactly how it had felt when she'd turned on the shower with a flick of her hand. How she felt the magic flow from inside of her, down the arm and out through her fingers.  

But all she could remember Snape's voice, and her mind filled in what he'd really meant. 

"Mudblood – Mudblood – Mudblood - Mudblood" 

Soon all she could hear was Bellatrix's cackle and the word mudblood ringing inside her head on an endless repeat. 

 

* * *

 

The next few days Hermione and Severus avoided each other. He slept wherever he slept when he wasn't using the bed. When he came for new changes of clothes, or for a book she inexplicably had to use the bathroom or was reading an enthralling book in the seating area, with her back turned to him. 

She'd never felt so lonely before.  

When Hermione came to Hogwarts, she'd been disappointed that wizarding children were just as cruel as those she'd been in primary school with. And just as stupid, really. She was used to it then, although it hurt. 

In third year, she'd felt like she'd been abandoned. Besides Harry and Ron she'd had no one. Even now, she didn't think they realized what they'd done to her that year. At least then she had her projects, helping Hagrid, helping Ginny, helping Neville, plenty of things to do. 

But now, locked up in the Headmaster's chambers there was no one or nothing. She looked around the room. Objectively, it was very big and very nice for all that it was a prison. She hadn't spoken to anyone about anything in four days and her thoughts kept turning on her: an endless spiral of self-recriminations and a theatre of mudbloods. 

The upside was of course that she'd had plenty of time to practice wandless magic. Now that she finally knew what was _supposed_ to be happening when she cast turning the lights on and off again was no longer an issue, except that one time she'd accidentally blown up one of the decorative glass constructions.  

She assumed Bristol had cleaned it up. The House-Elf also refused to speak to her. Her meals appeared on platters either on the desk or the small table in the seating area. Or the bed, if both of those were covered in books and parchment. When she was done eating the platters disappeared with a pop. 

Every night she went to bed early, she'd lay in the middle of the giant bed, on top of the blankets and she would stare up at the starry sky above her for hours until she couldn't keep her eyes open. Her sleep was restless and plagued with nightmares. 

One such night, when she was at the edge of sleep a loud crack disturbed woke her, she jumped out of the bed. Snape had apparated straight into the rooms, he wore heavy black robes and was clutching a eerie silver mask in his left hand. 

First she took a few steps back, she'd never seen him in full Death Eater regalia before. When he started swaying dangerously she ran forward and caught him. He grunted as she pushed him back upright, dragged his arm over her shoulders and wound her arm around his waist. 

"Lay down, sir." She said, gently leading him to the bed. Once there she attempted to guide him to the bed gently but she was unable to take on the full weight of a grown man. He fell down with a loud groan of pain and Hermione cursed.  

"What happened?" She demanded "Were you found out?" 

She didn't wait for a reply and began taking off his cloak and robes. The cloak wasn't difficult, she opened it, rolling her eyes at the snake shaped clasp but when she came to his robes she realized they were coated in blood, painting her hands a ghastly red. "Merlin." She whispered though her hands didn't falter. There were large cuts in the fabric which she used to rip it open further.  

Finally she could see where the blood was coming from, deep cuts running across his right shoulder and possibly down his back. 

His face was pinched in pain and caked in sweat and dried blood. The look in his eyes was nothing short of feverish as he stared at her or squeezed them closed.  

"Merlin- This isn't good." She kept up a steady stream of muttering as she began to undo the white shirt underneath, blood had seeped across the shirt and it shone wetly with fresh blood. At least it didn't look like they were cursed or poisoned. 

"Professor-" she leaned over him but he didn't respond "Severus!" She said, louder. 

He opened his eyes, but remained silent. His jaw was clenched painfully tight. She leaned closer to his face and shook him gently. 

"I need Dittany. Where can I find some?" 

"My office." He grunted "Desk- third drawer." 

"The door- you'll need to lift the war-" 

"It's open." He interrupted her with a grimace "Wand." His right hand twitched towards his pocket and Hermione quickly slid her hand in. She grabbed the slim length of his wand and quickly ran to the office.  

She threw open the door, momentarily disoriented by suddenly not being in the Headmaster's chamber. Hermione blinked and looked up, the portraits were looking at her curiously and muttering. She looked down at her blood covered hands for a moment, shook her head and ran to the desk. 

"Third drawer. Third drawer." She repeated and tried the one on the right. Locked. She quickly moved to the left and when she grabbed the drawer Snape's wand glowed and the drawer opened. 

"He's got an entire apothecary in here!" She yelled, frustrated and began searching for the bottles she needed. Her arms loaded with dittany, pain reducing potion and blood-replenishing potion she ran back up the stairs, unaware of the portrait of Professor Dumbledore staring down at her warily. 

To her consternation Severus had blacked out while she'd gone to fetch the potions. Without a second thought she used his wand to vanish the remnants of his drenched shirt. Carefully she cleaned out the wounds on his shoulder and poured plenty of dittany into his wounds. They hissed and sizzled but began to close. 

After a few awkward charms Hermione managed to turn him onto his stomach so she could take care of more cuts on his back. After she doused them royally with dittany she thought, with a sense of horror, that the new scars would barely be noticeable considering how many he had. She gulped. 

Now, the only thing she had to do was get him to swallow some pain relief, and a blood-replenishing. 


	5. Chapter 5

He woke up in discomfort, his shoulder and back stung painfully, but not unbearably so. He didn't have a pounding headache and surprisingly he wasn't experiencing the usual terrible side effects of the cruciatus.

He frowned and winced, clearly he wasn't completely off the hook. Did he manage to get to all his potions when he got back? His memory was vague, or completely missing in some spots. The last thing he remembered clearly was the Dark Lord's almost bored expression as he cast the cruciatus, with Bellatrix' infernal cackle in the background.

Before that it was slicing hexes. He hated slicing hexes, not just because of the pain and the bloodloss, but each time they were cast on him he'd remember the sound of his flesh tearing under the force of the curse. He had nightmares of nothing but the sound of his flesh being ripped apart. An odd thing to focus on, he reflected. Combined with the cruciatus it must have exacerbated his injuries. Then why wasn't he screaming in pain? Or dead even, if the curses went deep enough?

A low murmur alerted him to another presence in his bed. Her bed he wondered? How many times would someone have to sleep in another’s bed before it became theirs? Disgusted with his own strain train of thought, he opened his eyes. Late into the night, if the sky outside was anything to go by- hours before dawn, surely.

He turned his head to the side, ignoring the pain to look at his companion. Hermione Granger lay curled up next to him. She looked quite rumpled, brown spots of dried blood covering her face and trailing up into her mad hair. She was sleeping deeply, dark smudges under her eyes pointed towards a long night.

Although, he thought to himself, she usually had those bags under her eyes. He clenched his fists guiltily, it wasn't like he could make her sleep, or make her nightmares go away. He had enough of his own to add worrying about hers.

He refused to feel guilty and turned his head to look at the other side of the bed. There he was greeted with remnants of his blood soaked clothes and a myriad of empty potion bottles and next to all of those, his wand.

With a grunt he lifted his hand and felt the bandages wrapped around his torso carefully. He rubbed the fabric between his fingers and realized with a chuckle she'd transfigured one of his many white shirts to use them as bandages.

Hermione stirred next to him with a quiet moan. He turned to her curiously. She stretched her arms above her head and arched up her upper body. The shirt- one of his own transfigured ones- stretched against the skin of her breasts, emphasizing the hard peaks of her nipples as they pushed against the fabric. He remembered those quite well.

Quickly he looked the other way.

"You're awake?" She mumbled softly. Hermione rubbed her eyes and then exclaimed in disgust over her blood caked hands.

"Obviously." He said, without much heat. She snorted and gave him a tiny, tired smile as she got off the bed. She walked around the bed and bent over one of the end tables, which she must have dragged over there and washed her hands in a basin. He had no idea where she'd found that. The water was already murky.

"Perhaps you should take a shower."

"Too tired." She mumbled and reached for his wand next to him. Before she grabbed it, she paused and looked towards him. "… Can I?"

He inclined his head "You weren't so polite last night." He mentioned carefully and looked up at the ceiling.

Hermione took the thin length of wood and smiled humorlessly "You were really out of it, but you gave me your wand to go get potions."

"Ah." He avoided her eyes guiltily.

She didn't respond, merely waving the wand to clean herself up a little better. Then she removed the dirty pieces of clothes from the bed, cast a spell to clean the bed sheets of the worst of it, banished the empty potion bottles and crawled back into bed.

She leaned over his still form to put his wand where he could reach it with his right hand easily before she settled next to him, curling up at his side. She fell back asleep within moments and he realized she must have been exhausted.

With a grunt he summoned the semi-clean sheets, still covered in brown stains despite Hermione's cleaning spell. Severus tugged the blankets over both of them and soon also fell asleep.

Hours later he woke abruptly, startled by the heavy bang of the door to his office closing. His fingers closed automatically over his wand and he sat up.

Hermione was standing by the door to his office. She'd been the one to pull the door closed with such a racket.

"What's-"

"There's someone in your office." She hissed loudly so he could hear across the room.

"Bugger." He growled and tensed his muscles, pushing himself off the bed. He grunted when his feet sought purchase, his legs wobbled dangerously. Before he could set his first step Hermione was there, slipping his arm over her shoulder and helping him across the room. "Who is it?"

"I don't know." Hermione whispered "I was putting back some of the potion bottles when one of the portraits said someone was coming up."

Before he reached the stairs leading down to his office he tentatively stepped away from Hermione. "It's alright." He said "I can stand."

She nodded, though her pursed lips indicated she didn't approve.

"You look like death warmed over." She said as she began to tug whatever remained of his clothes into a semblance of order. "Give me your wand." She held out her hand imperiously. He narrowed his eyes at her but she glared back, reluctantly he gave her his wand.

Without pause she cast a few spells to clean his shirt, summon a new coat from his wardrobe and a few more modifications. He blinked against the blinding light. "Are you done now?"

She rolled her eyes "Yes." And handed his wand back "You look like you've had a rough night, but not like you'd been tortured... I should've grabbed a pepper up before hiding."

Severus looked at her for a moment and then shrugged "I've taught classes while feeling worse."

Hermione couldn't help but grin and said cheekily "I remember." In response he frowned at her disapprovingly before he opened the door and stalked into his office.

Minerva, he thought with annoyance, at seven in the morning on a Saturday. _Of course._

"Hope I didn't wake you, professor." McGonagall said without any sincerity, she narrowed her eyes at his heavy sigh. "I was wondering if you've finished this week's Discipline Forms." She looked at the newest pile on his desk with grim amusement.

He blinked at her and rubbed his face tiredly. "As you can see, Minerva, I have not." He said tiredly before he sunk down in the chair in front of the desk. He glanced at his emergency potion drawer and used the tip of his foot to push it shut.

"Headmaster," she said with a smirk and a tone of concern which was terrible reminiscent of Dolores Umbridge "I certainly hope the work load isn't too heavy for you."

"Certainly not." He mumbled while he carefully adjusted the stack of forms, always in danger of falling over. "I'll have the forms returned to you by the end of today."

"Hmm-" Minerva nodded "It would be a terrible thing for the students to run amok while we are unable to discipline them." Severus just looked at her neutrally for a long few moments and she blinked, momentarily taken aback.

"Thank you for your concern Minerva. As I said, you'll have them by the end of the day."

"Oh, and also, professor." she tapped her chin and pretended to _just now_ think of something. Severus pressed his lips together and looked at her expectantly. Merlin save him from Minerva McGonagall attempting to play theatre.

When she said nothing further he nodded and waved his hand impatiently to prompt her "Yes, Minerva?"

"Ah right-" she crossed her arms and regarded him with a pleased expression. "There was a bit of an altercation in the charms corridor yesterday. A group of students became unruly." Severus closed his eyes, already knowing where she was taking this "It was unclear who did what, and there were so many students, of course we will file all the necessary paperwork."

"Of course." Severus repeated with a sigh.

"And of course there was also the incident in the green houses."

He stared at her smug gob for a moment, thinking uncharitable thoughts about her upbringing, her House and her tiny brain which he'd like to run a spike through this morning.

"That's alright, Minerva." He said finally, showing nothing of his frustrations as he continued blithely "I'll have Granger sort through it all, I'm sure she can summarize the entirety of one of these piles in a concise manner." He picked up one of the Discipline Request forms and gave it a cursory glance.

He dropped the form back on the pile as he regarded the head of Gryffindor, her expression blanched and then turned horrified. "Perhaps she'll be happy to keep busy during the day.” He finished with a drawl.

"You're dismissed Minerva." And he nodded to the door. McGonagall, walked to the door with her lips pressed together and her fists shaking. She did not look back at him as she descended the stairs.

"Severus..." Spoke Dumbledore's portrait from behind him. The disapproval was clear in his voice. "That was uncalled for."

Severus didn't reply, nor turn to face the portrait. He picked up the Discipline request again. Two points to Susan Bones, for telling off one of her misbehaving classmates. Wasn't she a prefect? That would be her _job_. He sighed deeply and started when he realized Dumbledore had continued.

"-doing here last night? Severus?"

"What?" He snapped, twisting in his chair to glare at the former headmaster.

"Miss Granger." Dumbledore said slowly, as if speaking to a dimwit "She ran into the office yesterday and she had your wand."

"Albus," Severus said, rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly and thought about what he wanted to say for a moment. He shook his head and stood, slowly making his way back to his chambers. "Reprimand me later."

He opened the door and quickly closed it behind him, cutting off whatever the old man wanted to say. A shadow fell across him and Severus looked up into the worried face of Hermione. She was still dressed in some of his transfigured clothing, it was smudged with remnants of his blood and wrinkled from sleeping. Hermione was nervously rubbing her hands together while she was looking him over.

“Are you alright? Was it anyone… Bad?”

“Ah,” he glanced over his shoulder at the closed door “just Minerva making my life miserable.”

“Oh.” She seemed hesitant to respond further and quickly continued. “Come, let me take another look at your wounds. The dittany should’ve finished by now, I should apply some of that salve you gave me.”

As she talked she moved towards the bed and began clearing the sheets before turning to him expectantly.

Slowly, he walked towards the bed. When he moved to take off the coat Hermione patted his hands and slid it off his shoulders herself. “Do the buttons.”

“Bossy.” He groused but complied without further complaint. She ignored him completely.

“How does it feel?”

“Sore,” he spoke as he shrugged out of his shirt and sat down on the soft bed “but no pain.” He tensed a little when he felt her soft fingers move over the skin of his shoulders and then down his back.

“It looks good.” She pressed down on one of the wounds and he flinched, giving her a dirty look. “Sorry.” She said without any sincerity. She picked up the small jar of ointment he’d given to her on one of her first days in the chamber and began to liberally coat the angry red scars.

“You don’t have to do that.” He said quietly “A few more will hardly be noticed.” They wouldn’t, his back was a canvas of crisscrossing scars.

She didn’t respond and finally he relaxed under her skillful hands as they massaged the ointment into his skin. When she was done she screwed the lid onto the jar and sat down next to him with a sigh. She leaned into his uninjured shoulder and closed her eyes.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

They sat like that for a while until Severus remarked. “I think you could use a shower.”

She opened her eyes and blinked up at him “Are you suggesting that I smell?” She said with a mock-offended tone.

“Perhaps.”

“So do you.”

“Would you be willing to do some tedious paperwork for me?”

“Sure.”

That was easier than he’d expected. And until either of them had the energy to walk across the room to the shower he realized he wouldn’t mind just sitting on the bed with her.

 

* * *

 

She was humming. Without stopping. He aimed another glare at her back as she sat at her desk working her way through a truly monstrous pile of paperwork. He'd decided to let her fill in all of the forms, which would hopefully make the other professors stop trying to bury him in paperwork.

It was that or allowing the Carrows free reign to inflict as much damage as they wanted. All in the name of discipline, of course.

Hermione had looked inordinarily pleased at the task he'd given her. So far there had been no grumbling about ridiculous reasons for point loss or gain. In fact, as soon as she'd started she'd struck up the humming and had yet to stop. It was some type of pop tune, an older song if he recalled, something from when he was younger?

In any case, it was keeping him from focusing on his own work. Severus groaned loudly and rubbed his forehead. He glanced back up when Hermione's humming stopped, she'd turned towards him with a frown.

"Stop singing about a yellow submarine, _please_."

Hermione flushed red and nodded "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention." She turned back to her forms.

For a moment he stared at her, stunned and then looked down at his own paperwork. At least, he thought, they both tried their hardest to keep the peace. That was something.

"You know the Beatles?"

Her voice cut through his relieved thoughts. He looked towards her, she was sitting backwards on her chair with her arms leaning on the backrest while she looked at him curiously. They eyed each other for a few long moments until he nodded very lightly.

"They were very popular when I was young."

"I see." She said neutrally and smiled. Severus sighed, he could see right through her expression of polite interest and to the questions that were brimming inside of her.

"Right well." She cleared her throat and pointed her quill at the stack of parchments behind her "better get back to it." She smiled fleetingly and turned back. Severus mimicked the movement and they worked in silence for a while. He quite liked the sound of their quills scratching on parchment in the otherwise quiet room.

Half an hour passed in companionable silence until Hermione put down her quill and stacked a pile of finished discipline forms together. He glanced at her right when she stretched her arms above her head and groaned lightly. He remembered that groan rather well- and he cut that thought off before he could finish.

"Lunch?" Her voice interrupted his thoughts which had unhelpfully strayed to the taste of her naked skin. He gripped the quill so tightly it snapped in his hands. Severus cursed and waved his hand, removing a few blots of ink from his dress shirt.

"I have to be present in the Great Hall." He said and glanced at her as he picked up his heavy teaching robes from the back of the chair and began to put them on.

"Ah. Alright." She said quietly and stepped towards the sitting area, where she plopped down in one of the armchairs and sighed heavily.

With a murmured spell the buttons on his robes closed and he echoed her sigh. He stepped towards the chair and looked down at the top of her head. She lifted her face and gave him a watery smile.

"Sorry," she mumbled "I'm just rather lonely."

"I know the feeling." He replied quietly. He slid his hand over the top of the armchair, it was soft under his palm. Quickly he removed his hand when he realized he quite wanted to touch her. Comfort her.

She closed her eyes and turned to the small end table where he knew soon a delicious elf-made meal would appear. He wondered if to her, it also tasted like ash in her mouth. While moving quietly he made his way to the armchair opposite of her and sat down.

"I suppose once in a while won't do any harm."

There wasn't much conversation over the course of the dinner, aside from a few remarks about the deliciousness of the meal. But neither of them seemed to mind. By the time Severus ate the last of the bread he used to sop up the sauce Hermione had herself comfortable in her armchair.

"Thank you for staying with me." She said softly while looking at her knees. When she glanced up she saw a tiny small at the edges of his mouth.

"My pleasure." He responded quietly as he leaned back in his chair.

"How is your channeling practice going?" He asked after a while. Hermione sat up straight with a glint in her eyes and launched into an in-depth analysis of all she had learned. This was followed by a long practical demonstration.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Over the following weeks it became an increasingly normal for Severus to enter his chambers and find Hermione nose-deep in a book while surrounded by a myriad others. He realized she was using her research into channeling magic as a form of escapism, but there were worse coping mechanisms. Which is why he happily gave her free reign over the library. 

Severus had been doing some research of his own, despite Dumbledore's often and vocal disapproval. Strangely, Hermione seemed to be well aware of Dumbledore's role in the whole mess which he assumed is why she ignored the portrait whenever they were in the office for one reason or another.  

It was a truly strange feeling to have someone be on his side. That person being a barely-out-of-diapers Gryffindor Know-It-All rankled, but he'd take what he could. At least he didn't have to keep pretending to be a Death Eater while he was in his own rooms. He didn't have to do much of anything really, she seemed pleased just having someone there. 

That made two of them. In the back of his mind he acknowledged that they were establishing an unhealthy codependent relationship but he didn't want to stop it. He felt that he _needed_ like he never had before, someone to see him for who he was. 

After nearly a month of the quiet companionship with Hermione he finally found what he'd been looking for. For the first time in months he could feel a thrill of excitement run through him, and he shivered at the almost unfamiliar feeling as he easily walked up the steps to their rooms, two at a time. 

When he arrived in his chambers the usual sight of Hermione reading greeted him. This time she sat on the floor with her back against the wall, as if she'd grabbed a book and decided to read it right then and there. "Hermione." He said quietly and she looked up with a heavy frown. 

He narrowed his eyes slightly and after a slight hesitation he asked "What's wrong?" 

Hermione shrugged slightly and spoke with an unconvincing tone "I just found the book that details the curse Bellatrix used." She held up the old tome.  

"You already knew the curse, no?"  

"I thought it was dark magic." She mumbled and pushed the book closed with a snap. 

"It was classified as such." Severus said carefully as he walked towards her. She stood up shakily and patted down her cotton pants before she bent down and grabbed the book from the floor. 

"However it's not dark magic in the traditional sense of the word. Using it doesn't taint the soul." 

Hermione scoffed as she set the book and some papers on her desk. He eyed her carefully, not sure what to expect from her current mood. 

"She'll get her due, Hermione." He said softly. She turned to him, with a surprised expression and then expertly avoided his gaze. Tentatively, he stepped closer and touched her elbow, when she didn't withdraw he squeezed her shoulder softly. 

"I'm okay." Hermione mumbled and he nodded. 

"You are."  

A small smile graced her lips and he let go of her shoulder. "Any more request forms?" She asked. 

"Not at the moment," he smirked "your former teachers are disinclined to keep burying you under paperwork." 

"That's nice of them." 

"You were their favorite, after all." His black eyes glittered in amusement. 

Hermione smiled more genuinely when she said "Not yours though." He blinked at that and looked away. 

"It wasn't as if I could publicly encourage a Muggleborn witch."  

"Oh." She cleared her throat "I hadn't considered that." And then she shrugged "Right now I'm rather grateful that we didn't have that type of student-teacher relationship." There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments. 

"Quite right." Severus agreed finally and cleared his throat. "I have something for you."  

"Oh?" She straightened and looked him over critically before she frowned and looked back at his face. "What is it?" 

"This way." He held out his arm towards the opposite side of the chambers. The only wall which was not covered furniture of some kind except for a rather creepy painting of grazing deer. Severus slid his long fingers down the flank of one of the deer and without preamble a piece of the wall slid open soundlessly. It revealed a narrow, dark hallway. 

"Light the torches, Hermione."  

"Caeruleus Incendia!" She clearly intoned and pointed her hand at the hallway. The torches lit up with a bouncing blue light. It mixed with the grey stones of the hallway and turned into a sickly blue. 

"Charming." Severus said drily. 

Hermione stepped into the passage way and threw a huffy glare over her shoulder. "You told me to cast." 

"You could do with some extra practice." She rolled her eyes, confident with her back turned towards him as they moved along the hallway. 

After a walking for about a minute they came to a spiral staircase. Hermione glanced behind her at Severus who lifted his wand and lit the torches all the way to the bottom. Hermione tried to imagine what Hogwarts looked liked from the outside to determine which tiny tower they were probably descending. 

"It's only a little further." Severus said when they reached the landing in the dark, there were no torches there. "There's a door on your right."  

Hermione held out her hand until the tips of her fingers touched the rough wood and then she shivered when a sigh of cool air touched her arms. She gasped and quickly found the door knob, turned and pushed it open.  

She nearly fell flat on her face in her enthusiasm to run into a small courtyard. It was completely enclosed by high, windowless walls but she didn't care as she took in deep breaths of fresh air, the first in over a month. 

She bent forward to touch the thin blades of grass which reached up on the sides of the cobblestones which covered the courtyard. There was a small bench in front of a dried up fountain. She straightened and sighed deeply before turning around to smile brightly up at Severus. 

"What is this place?"  

"Servant's Square, it's called." He looked around the courtyard "Before Hogwarts had as many house elves as we do now there were many human servants. There were many servant's passages, like the one we took here, all over the castle. Most of them have disappeared now." 

"Disappeared?" She asked curiously while she made her way to the bench and sat down with happy sigh. Severus stepped further into the courtyard and looked up at the high, cold stones of the walls. 

"Hogwarts is almost like a sentient being, it adapts to new circumstances. When there weren't any servants left, most of the passages disappeared. I managed to- convince the castle to open this one for our use." 

"Being Headmaster comes with the perks, hmn?" She smiled happily and patted the place next to her on the bench. He eyed her and the bench for a moment making his way over to her. 

"It certainly does." Severus said before he sat down. He crossed his legs and glanced at Hermione who leaned into him immediately.  

"Is it hard to convince Hogwarts to do something like this?"  

"Not really. It was difficult to find a way outside which Minerva wouldn't be able to sniff out." Hermione chuckled at his dark tone. "She was acting-headmistress for a long enough period that she's sensitive to changes in the castle."  

They sat like that for a while, he could feel Hermione shiver next to him but she seemed unwilling to go inside. The clothes provided by Bristol didn't seem to be suited for the cold in the Scottish Highlands. 

"Did you ever want to be Headmaster?" She wondered aloud and he huffed. 

"I would have preferred it to being a teacher," Severus responded quietly "but not particularly."  

"Did you ever enjoy teaching?" 

He glanced at her, Hermione's face was turned to him and she was looking at him curiously. Severus frowned at her but she didn't seem cowed in the least. 

"There were a few years that I enjoyed it well enough." His frown deepened, and he felt unsure why he was even talking about it.  

"Before I came to Hogwarts?" 

"Before Potter came to Hogwarts." He corrected. She pressed her lips together and looked away. She turned back to him in surprise when he continued speaking. His tone was neutral and almost distant, as if he was talking about something else entirely.  

"The years before Potter came to Hogwarts I almost had myself convinced the Dark Lord would never return and that I-" He rubbed his left forearm unconsciously "would not be called to his service again." 

The next words were out of her mouth before she could even think. "Why did you join the Death Eaters?" 

His expression shuttered and he pulled away from her completely. "That's immaterial." He stood and dusted off his formal black robes before he turned to her.  

"Perhaps you would like to practice some wandless magic?" 

Hermione took a long while to answer, she bit her lip softly while she looked around the courtyard. “Why-“ 

“More questions?” He bit brusquely and he met her uncertain gaze with a disapproving stare. She pressed her lips together and smiled ruefully. 

“That’s me. Insufferable Know-it-all.” Hermione mumbled “Where did you want me?”  

"You stay here." Severus said right before he held out his wand to her. "I'll demonstrate." She gingerly took the dark-colored wand. It felt much more familiar to her after weeks of handling it, even though it was infrequent and for a short amount of time. Or perhaps, she wondered, it was because the wand's owner was no longer an unfamiliar, frightening entity. 

Severus cleared his throat loudly from the other side of the small courtyard. It startled her out of her thoughts. With a quick apology she turned her attention back to him. 

"The most important use of wandless magic, for dueling." He began and Hermione smiled at his tone. It seemed the well-known professor Snape was really in there. "Is to deflect or shield. You use your wand," he held up his empty wand hand "to cast offensive spells and you use the other for defense." 

"Why defense specifically?" She asked aloud and grinned at his annoyed glare.  

"Because defense spells are aligned to your nature. It is easier to start with those." At that Hermione frowned and glanced down at his wand clutched in her hand.  

"How do you know?" 

"Well, I don't want to boast," he said with his usual sarcasm "but I did teach you for six years, one tends to pick up some things along the way." She frowned at that, it didn't really explain how he knew. Why are some types of spells aligned to someone's nature, was it just natural talent? 

"But how do you know-" 

"Hermione, for Merlin's sake must you question everything?" 

She clenched her fists and angry red sparks jumped from the birch wand. "Fine." She snapped and widened her stance.  

"I'll demonstrate the defensive tact-" He paused and eyed her for a moment before continuing "tactic. You cast offensive spells at me and I'll deflect." Hermione smirked when she realized he had just given her permission to hex him. 

She lifted the wand and aimed at him. Severus shifted, she wondered if it was a sign of nervousness. He was a hard person to get a read on in the best of circumstances. 

"Tarantallegra!" She cast with perfect pronunciation, but without using a lot of power. Severus easily took a step to the side, raised his hand and if the simmering was an indication he cast a wandless shield do deflect the curse. It fizzled on impact. 

"Again." 

Hermione nodded, her eyebrows lowered in concentration. "Langlock!" 

"Orbis!" 

"Furnunculus!" He raised his eyebrows at that one right before he easily deflected it. Hermione giggled before she cast a nonverbal levicorpus. She lowered her wand arm when he deflected that one as well. 

"I had wondered if you'd forgotten that you don't have to shout your intentions to your opponents." Severus said when he stepped closer he held out his hand and she quickly returned his wand.  

"You weren't casting defensive spells, right?" Hermione asked, not deigning his jab with a response "I read about it a few days ago, you channel magic to your hands to deflect. It's all about intention." 

"Yes," He said with a tone of surprise "exactly how many books have you read on this subject?" 

"Well," She replied and touched her cheek self-consciously "I've exhausted your library... And I was wondering if I could maybe get some books from the school library?" She glanced at him with a hopeful expression. 

"I'll see what I can do." He looked around the steadily darkening little courtyard. "Let's go inside, you can practice channeling where it's warm." 

 

* * *

 

 

It was during a Death Eater meeting at the end of October when he realized the peaceful existence between Hermione and himself wouldn't last long. Bellatrix was too insistent, too meddlesome to allow him to keep Hermione safe and hidden inside his chambers.  

He was lucky the Dark Lord had no interest in their squabble, intent as he was on whatever purpose took him abroad. Severus was Headmaster, and the Dark Lord's right hand. As long as he could keep his position Bellatrix could not demand he do anything. 

Which didn't stop her from tightening her influence on the Carrows. They had progressively stepped up their disciplinary methods. The cruciatus was an almost daily occurrence at Hogwarts these days and he felt powerless to stop them. Meanwhile, the students became more brazenly mutinous.  

It wouldn't be long before the most obvious students would openly rebel, he hoped Augusta Longbottom had a safe house set up somewhere for when her grandson graduated from graffiti on the walls to cursing his teachers. 

His life had always been like a delicate balancing scale, but never before had there been so many parties he had to even out. Enemies who thought him friend, friends who thought him an enemy, dissident students he needed to protect, a girl he taught magic should appear without it and whatever bloody hell he was supposed to tell Potter if he ever found the little bastard. 

That was why he was currently clutching a tumbler filled with much too expensive firewhiskey in one hand and a half-empty bottle in the other.  

Dumbledore was nattering about one thing or another. Responsibility to the students or to Hogwarts, probably. Reminders of his oath to former Headmaster and the Order a second possibility. Or perhaps more berating about how Hermione Granger didn't hate him like the rest of the world did. That was one of the old coot's favorite topics these days.  

Severus blinked and tilted his head, leaning towards the sound of Dumbledore's portrait. Potter. Of course that's what he was talking about, always bloody precious Potter with his shiny broom and his shiny scar- He groaned and set the bottle back on the desk with a hard thump. He sounded like a bloody third year. That's when her voice cut straight through the haze of his brain. 

"Severus?" 

She was standing right next to him, normally her expressions were quite easy to decipher. Not so much at that moment, probably because she had a few more expressions than normal. He told her so. 

A small smile tugged on the corners of her mouth and she let out an amused huff. He frowned, no telling off? 

"Do I looked like your mother?" She said with a shake of her head "Besides I think professor Dumbledore is compiling a list." 

Severus glanced over his shoulder at the portrait. Dumbledore was looking at him quietly, even a little sadly.  

"He has the worst telling off." He slurred in a loud conspiratory whisper and Hermione nodded with understanding. 

"I'd imagine." She took the glass out of his slack grip and settled it next to the bottle before she vanished the remaining alcohol. She closed the bottle and carefully leaned down to put it under the desk. "In case professor McGonagall comes by in the morning," she said as she offered him her arm to lean on "wouldn't want to give her more ammunition." 

"I think sleeping with her favorite cub-" he trailed off mid-thought and Hermione patted his shoulder. 

"Come on, let's get you to bed." She pulled on his arm gently and he sighed loudly before pushing back the chair and standing up. He clutched to the desk for a moment while he blinked but otherwise seemed to be standing on his own.  

"You don't look like my mother at all." 

Hermione laughed and nodded "I know." 

"Good thing, too." He said with a happy sigh. 

Severus made his way to the door and up the stairs and with a last glance at Dumbledore, Hermione followed his slightly swaying form. Once in the chambers he didn’t hesitate the slightest bit before sitting on the bed and undoing the myriad of buttons on his robes. 

Hermione quickly grabbed a few books from the bed and put them on one of the nightstands. Severus cursed to himself when the buttons kept slipping between his fingers before he could draw his wand Hermione gently pushed away his hands and began undoing the buttons. 

He relaxed and looked up into her young face, her eyes were intent on the task until she glanced up at him. Hermione smiled lightly and her brown eyes softened when she looked at him. 

“I certainly didn’t expect you to have a vice like this.” 

“Why not?”  

“You’re too controlled.” She smirked 

“Your words say controlled, your voice implies uptight.” 

Hermione nearly choked on her own laughter as she spluttered a denial, never would she have expected that type of behavior from this man. She’d stopped opening Severus’ robes when he caught her gaze and she was lost in his. They were close enough for her to be able to distinguish his slightly dilated pupil from the iris. 

Her eyes dropped to his lips and then back up, and she couldn’t help but blush lightly. Not that long ago she had practically begged him to kiss her, right before he thrust into her. 

She was startled by a rustle and then his warm hand at her waist, he’d stood up. Hermione had forgotten how tall he was until he stood right in front of her. His left hand came up, touched her jaw gently and tilted her head. 

He bent down, she stood on her tip toes and they kissed. First gently, with closed mouths, she closed her eyes as she felt his dry lips move against her. Then the tip of his tongue licked along her bottom lip and Hermione opened her mouth eagerly. She gasped as she felt his tongue slide against hers, like silk on her bare skin. The feeling was electrifying and it travelled from her mouth all the way to her toes leaving pleasant tingles all over her body. 

Severus pulled her a little closer while he explored every inch of her mouth. He tasted like the whiskey he’d been drowning his sorrows in and the taste of just him. The wet sounds they made sounded almost pornographic to her ears and she realized that her face was probably tomato red. 

Her moment of mortification was enough for Severus to pull back. He stroked her cheek softly, his thumb stretching out to wipe away a smudge of saliva. He looked down at her with such a smirk of smug self-satisfaction that she glared at him. 

The smirk only deepened. “Don’t forget to close the door.” He said with a glance at the open doorway to his office. He turned, managed to spell open the rest of his buttons and shrug out of his robes. 

Hermione didn’t need to be told twice and she quickly walked towards the office, instead of closing the door she went into the room half dazed at what had happened. 

She touched her lips in shock as she stared ahead. 

“Miss Granger?” 

Hermione started and turned around, quickly dropping her hands away from her face in a huff. “Professor Dumbledore.” She acknowledged with a polite nod. The portrait of Dumbledore was much like the other portraits around the room. He sat in a nice armchair with some bookshelves and a painting behind him, the colors were rather muted and aside from the blue of his eyes and the shiny purple stars on his robes. 

“How is Severus?” The portrait asked, he had a worried frown on his face. The thick eyebrows were pinched and the customary twinkle was absent from his eyes. 

“Drunk, sir.”  

Dumbledore sighed deeply and looked down at the hands folded in his lap. Hermione wasn’t sure what to say, she didn’t want to ask for details about his death and that was honestly the only thing she wanted to talk to him about. 

“Do you know where Harry is? Professor Sna- Severus has something he needs to deliver to Harry.” 

“I’ve been here for over a month, sir, as you know. Wherever Harry is he’s clever enough not go anywhere I know of.” 

Dumbledore subsided and nodded reluctantly, as if he didn’t entirely believe her. 

“What is it that Severus has, professor?” 

The former headmaster shifted in his seat, before acknowledging that Severus had something capable of destroying a Horcrux. Hermione narrowed her eyes. 

“So you knew how to destroy them and you didn’t think that would be a good idea to tell Harry?” She hissed angrily. 

Dumbledore’s gaze shuttered and he said almost defensively “It needs to be Harry’s journey.” 

“Journey?” She squeacked angrily, and the portrait immediately hushed her “Journey?” She repeated in a heated whisper “There is no bloody journey! We need to resolve this as quickly as possible, not make it into a scavenger hunt!” 

“Miss Granger, there are things in play here-“ 

“I don’t give a damn about your play.” She ran a hand through her tangled curls and pulled a few out in her frustration "I don’t have to listen to this, I’m going to sleep.” 

“I will kindly remind you miss Granger that you promised to keep Harry’s secrets and Severus is not in his confidences.” 

“And I’ll kindly remind you,” she pointed at Dumbledore’s portrait with an angry finger “that you’re dead, and it’s on us now and I’ll do as I bloody well please.” And she flounced out of the office. 

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning he opened his eyes and was relieved to find the drapes were closing off the window in the ceiling. He imagined the dull ache in the back of his head would have otherwise been a lot worse. He grunted slightly and ran a hand through his hair to get it out of his face. 

He stilled when he registered the breathing of the other occupant in the bed, in a split second he wandlessly summoned his wand and then relaxed. Hermione, in his bed. Her bed? 

He rubbed his forehead with the back of the hand still clutching his wand and then carefully sat up. Hermione lay right next to him with one of the decorative pillows clutched to her chest. She looked dead to the world and he blinked when he slowly took in the mess of books around her side of the bed. 

It was with a happy sigh that Severus saw a bottle of Sober-Up and a glass of water on the night stand next to him. He quickly downed both and got out of the bed, still not entirely steady on his legs he stumbled a few times on his way to the bathroom. 

Severus leisurely showered and cleaned up while he mulled over the previous night. As Hermione had surmised the night before, he didn't usually drink- and mostly because it made him lose the tight control he applied to his every day life.  

And then there was the kiss. Merlin's saggy undertit he cursed with gritted teeth and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Worse, why hadn't she pushed him away? Did she want to kiss him? In his drunken haze he thought she'd initiated, had she? Why? He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, he imagined the confusion and mixed feelings to rush out of him like the shower's water down his back. 

When he felt suitably collected, his mind focused on the image of a calm Black Lake on a winter's day. Nothing moved under or over the surface and everything was beautifully still and quiet. He turned off the shower and stepped out, back in iron-clad control of all his faculties. 

Hermione was awake and sitting up in bed with her nose in a book when he walked out of the bathroom. He was dressed in his usual impeccable robes. She glanced up at him and smiled sleepily.  

"You look like you need a few more hours, Hermione." 

"Just thought I'd do some research before bed and-" she closed the book and glanced down at the pile next to the bed "I lost track of time."  

He smiles slightly and it quickly disappears. "Hermione..." He started hesitantly "My memories of the previous night... Are vague." The lie rolled easily off his tongue and he felt a little like a coward, but it seemed for the best "I apologize for my behavior yesterday. It won't happen again." 

"If you don't remember anything, then why are you apologizing?" She asked while she felt disappointment weigh on her shoulders, she kept her tone of voice as neutral as she could. 

"You... Retrieved me from my office." He said, uncomfortably glancing away.  

"Right." Hermione nodded and gave him a tiny smile "It's fine. You were... A pleasant drunk." 

"High praise." He said with some humor but before he could continue they were interrupted by banging on the door to his office. He immediately drew his wand and turned to the door. 

"Bloody hell," he cursed "I really need to improve those wards." He glanced over his shoulder at the frightened looking Hermione "Hide." 

She nodded frantically and rolled off the bed with a loud thump and a painful groan. Subterfuge, Severus thought, lost on all bloody Gryffindors. Useless, the lot of them. 

Severus threw open the door with an annoyed "What." He was not very surprised to find Alecto Carrow cowering in front the door.  

"Headmaster Snape," she simpered "you weren't at breakfast or lunch, we were..." 

"Professor Carrow," he began quietly "if I recall correctly, and I assure you, I do. Today is Sunday. My presence is not required at those times."  

Hermione crawled from her position on the floor next to the bed forward to catch a glimpse of the new professor. Severus's voluminous robes managed to hide most of the doorway from view but she could make out the head of the new professor.  

Alecto Carrow, Hermione thought, didn't look very impressive. Especially the way she was attempting to make herself taller and how she was craning her neck to have a better view of their chambers. Severus wasn't amused either, she noted with a grin as he went on to verbally eviscerating the other professor before slamming the door closed in her face. 

"She looks like she wants to be invited in, Severus." Hermione said with amusement as she stood up slowly.  

"She does." He replied, distaste clear on his features. Hermione blinked and raised her eyebrows to which he scowled. "Not for that, I assure you. Bellatrix wants to confirm you're in... The proper state, if you will." 

Hermione flushed and quickly began scooping up books from the floor and arranging them in a pile on her nightstand. "Without magic, you mean." 

"Yes." He agreed after a moment's hesitation. 

She paused, still looking down at her books with her lips pinched together, "And in my proper place." 

"Yes."  

"Is that going to be a problem?" She asked, "Is professor Carrow-" 

"Don't call her professor Hermione," Severus interrupted "I assure you, neither Carrow deserves the title." 

"Oh- Well, is the Carrow going to keep trying to look over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of me?" 

"Possibly, yes." He said with a shrug and then moved towards her, he reached out to pat her shoulder gently. She smiled at him slightly. "Don't fear, I've kept far greater secrets from far cleverer people than Alecto and Amycus Carrow." 

"If you say so."  

"I do." 

 

* * *

 

 

That night Severus returned to their rooms just as Hermione had made herself comfortable in bed with Tales of Beedle the Bard, the book Dumbledore had left her in his will. She could tell as soon as he opened the door that he was in a bad mood. It was in the particular way that he opened the door, and the rhythm of his steps. 

Hermione eyed him over the pages of her book as he stomped across the chambers without even a cursory acknowledgement of her presence. His long black robes dragged behind him dramatically and the expression on his face was especially forbidding.  

For a few minutes he paced the room, until he turned on his heels so abruptly the end of his robes smacked into his legs. He stopped moving before he tripped over them and then quickly tore them off his body in a fit of pique and throwing them over a chair. He then glared at her as if daring her to comment. 

She quickly pretended to be lost in her book. Severus huffed and marched into the bathroom.  

When he came back out wearing much more comfortable clothing for sleeping Hermione had already asked Bristol to bring them some tea and she was happily munching on a couple of biscuits. He didn't look happy, but he also didn't look like he was about to fly off the handle at the drop of a hat. 

"Hi." She mumbled and held out a cup of tea from her position at the end of the bed. She was sitting with her legs crossed under her and a blanket thrown over her shoulders. He sighed, took the cup and sat down on the other side of the tea tray. He sipped it quietly. 

"Must you eat in bed?" He said, but without much heat. 

"Ah-" she frowned "I apologize... I know it's a terrible habit." She immediately began to wipe crumbs off her lap and the blanket and onto the ground. He watched her do that for a few moments and then threw her a look before he slowly waved his hand and vanished the crumbs. 

She pressed her lips together and huffed, tea still clutched in one of her hands. "Do you want to sit somewhere else or what?" She bit with a definite annoyed tone. 

"It's fine." He said gravely and picked up a biscuit himself "There are worse things than taking tea in bed. As long as you remember you're a witch." 

She responded with an indistinct grumpy mumble.  

"Did you have a bad day?" She asked after a few minutes of quietly sipping tea together. She lifted the pot with an expectant expression. He held out his cup so she could refill it.  

"You might say I did." He said noncommittally as he added a splash of milk and a pinch of sugar. "Alecto, who clearly has nothing better to do, has been very busy in spreading any number of rumors backed up by her _personal testimony_." 

"But she didn't see anything." Hermione protested. He shrugged as if that didn't matter. 

"I'm quite certain Minerva is planning to murder me."  

"Merlin," she whispered "how can she believe anything that inbred flubberworm says?" 

"That's easy, Hermione," he looked at her soberly, tea forgotten on the tray "Minerva knows the Carrows are idiots, but she _hates_ me, to her I've become worse than the Dark Lord, a traitor to all she stands for and of course... I've committed the worst crime a teacher can." 

Hermione scooted closer to him, careful of the tray on the bed, and rearranged the blanket across her shoulders to cover his too. He sighed but was happy to take what comfort she offered. 

"Once the war is over, they'll know the truth." She whispered softly. 

"Posthumous recognition is something, at least." 

"You're not going to die!" She said, outraged. 

He turned to her in surprise. "The chances of my survival are minimal, I've accepted that." He shook his head when she opened her mouth to respond "This is not something I wish to discuss, Hermione." She closed her mouth but her expression was mutinous, she subsided and wondered sadly how he could be so terribly blasé about his death. 

"Thank you." He spoke softly and patted her knee over the blanket. "I'm going to bed." With that he stood up and carefully picked up the tea tray and put it on one of the desks for Bristol to take care of later.  

Hermione sighed as she crawled back to her normal position on the right side of the bed, under the giant windows of the starry sky. 

"Why don't you sleep here?" She asked as she indicated the left side of the bed. "Sometimes you do." 

"I- ah-" Severus looked at the empty space next to her uncertainly. 

"We have separate blankets and the bed is more than large enough." She cajoled "you hardly need to sleep in your office." 

He thought of his badly transfigured chair, there was always something that didn't transfigure correctly, always some part of the original chair that digs in his back. He sighed, another boundary between them shattered. Though it was a thin one, he had to admit to himself. It would hardly be the first time they slept in the same bed. 

Severus stepped to the other side of the bed and Hermione smiled at him when he sat down. A genuine, encouraging smile he wondered, as usual, where her trust in him came from. With those thoughts he pushed off his shoes, and his socks and laid down on the bed with his back to her. 

She snorted and got comfortable herself. "Goodnight Severus." She whispered right before she doused the lights. 

"Goodnight." He mumbled back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, thank you all for your kind comments and reviews on previous chapters. Sorry for the long silence. I've recently picked up the story again and I'm several more chapters in. I hope to continue. Thank you for your patience and I hope you'll enjoy the new chapter(s).

Hermione stared out the window, her mood unusually melancholic. Normally, she avoided looking out the window at the students below. They only looked like black specks against the green lawn from how high up the window sat. Still, she envied them their freedom. 

Severus was getting dressed behind her. Dressing up would be a better term she thought with a sneer, she shook her head in an attempt to banish the uncharitable thoughts. 

"I'm not sure when I'll be able to return." He spoke softly. She glanced over her shoulder just as he pulled on a finely tailored and expensive coat. He'd never be a traditionally handsome man, she thought idly, but the way his robes fell about him now, he cut an impressive figure. "Don't wait up." 

She nodded while her hands unconsciously smoothed over her own mixed set of ill-fitting clothing. Hermione felt very much like a raggedy doll when compared to him. 

"I don't know the proper goodbye for this." She said and smiled at his look of confusion "I'd hardly want you to have fun at a Death Eater gathering. Good luck?" 

He huffed and shrugged. "These functions are never as entertaining as they are advertised. But thank you," he slipped his wand up his sleeve carefully "for the sentiment." 

He glanced around to check if he forgot anything and then straightened. Hermione finally had enough of looking out the window to a place she couldn't go slid off the window sill and closed the curtains with a wave of her hand. She smiled up at Severus. 

"You look good." 

Severus stilled and frowned at the compliment before wiping some imaginary lint off his sleeves, looking rather pleased.  

"You forgot your cuff links." Hermione said, stepping away to hide her own pleased reaction. She picked up the box on the desk and took out two ornate silver cufflinks. 

"Snakes, really?" She said with an eyeroll as she made her way back to him. He shrugged back out of his coat right before she indicated for him to hold out his arm.  

"They were a gift." Severus said "It's polite to show appreciation by wearing the gift." She pushed in the cuff links easily. 

"I certainly hope no one ever buys me any lion jewelry." 

"Cuff links aren't jewelry." He retorted swiftly as he touched the right cufflink to be sure everything was secure before he pulled on the coat again. Hermione eyed him with raised eyebrows. 

"Fine." He conceded. "I'll make note to never buy you lion jewelry." 

She chuckled and spoke with an impish grin "I didn't realize I should be expecting jewelry." 

He paused and looked at her, startled and she threw her head back and laughed. 

"It's alright, Severus." She said, shoulders still shaking with repressed amusement "Besides, you missed my birthday." 

He finally relaxed and sighed. "When was that?"  

"September 6th " she said with a smile. 

"Ah." He pressed his lips together and looked away.  

"I was probably still with-" 

"You arrived here on September 6th ." He interrupted her. 

"Oh." They both fell quiet. "Better than if I'd been with Lestrange, right?" Hermione frowned then "Is she going to be at the celebration?" 

"Most likely, yes."  

"Well, good luck." Before the idea had really formed in her head Hermione stood up on the tips of her toes, pushing her hands against his shoulders for balance and pressed a small kiss to his cheek. She flushed red, unsure where that had come from and quickly made her way to her desk on the other side of the room. 

Severus left quietly. 

 

* * *

 

Hermione lay spread out over the giant bed surrounded by her usual number of books. She felt inexplicably bored with Severus gone, not that she saw him for most of the day but- it felt different to know he wasn't nearby. He'd left hours ago and at first she'd kept herself busy and then she began to wonder what a pureblood Halloween celebration would look like. 

Like muggle high society, perhaps? She frowned in thought. At least the way Severus had been dressed, he would fit right into that view.  

She wondered if she was developing Stockholm syndrome. Except he wasn't an evil kidnapper, manipulating his prisoner. Maybe it was just because of proximity, he was the only available person in her immediate environment. When he wasn't being a complete troll he could be an engaging conversationalist, or a quiet reading companion, or a demanding instructor- she shook her head. 

So maybe it wasn't just proximity, she admitted to herself. Frankly, after a few weeks stuck in the company of Harry and Ron she'd been yearning for the bustle of Hogwarts, not yearning to jump their bones. Either of their bones.  

Not that she wanted to jump Severus' bones. 

Maybe a little. She blushed at the very thought of it, and then the memory of Severus pushing into her, his hands splayed over her thighs- she groaned and shook her head. It was like that night had made her realize how bloody good sex was, and now she really wanted more of it. With Severus. Who was an ex-Professor and twenty years older than her. Who had been a cranky, mean bastard to her and her friends for  _years_. 

Bloody hell, she thought, she had to order her thoughts somehow.  

Hermione jumped out of bed and went to her desk in search of a new roll of parchment. After digging around for a few minutes she found nothing but parchment filled with her notes. She let out a frustrated sigh and then slowly turned to look at the door to Severus' office. 

It was late, the Death Eaters were all at some celebration... She narrowed her eyes in thought and before she knew it she was standing right at the door, the tips of her hand resting lightly on the door handle. 

Is this how Harry felt when he was up to mischief, she wondered with a hint of panic. Then took a deep breath. It would only be a quick trip, just get some parchment. He kept a stack of it in the second drawer of his desk. What could possibly happen? 

She grasped the handle firmly. If this was a plan Harry or Ron had come up with she'd be the voice of reason, she'd tell them they couldn't risk it. What if there was someone in his office? 

Except his office should be warded. Hermione frowned and looked at the door handle, then back at the door. In fact, the door is probably warded. She wouldn't be able to get into the office, right? Unless he warded it to open for her, she was always able to go to his office but that was only when he was either in the office, or in the rooms with her. 

She shook her head, and slowly let go of the handle. It was best to step away from temptation, and stop her brain from going in circles about what ifs. She took a step back. 

And then... But what if he forgot to ward the door? She should know that someone could come in to attack her at any moment, she should be prepared if that was the case! Okay, she thought to herself, open the door, check for wards and then go back to bed. No parchment, no talking to portraits, check wards and straight to bed. Hermione nodded to herself again and straightened her shoulders. 

She opened the door with a little too much force and it swung in a wide arc, revealing the entire darkened office to her and then the bug-eyed stare of Amycus Carrow standing in entrance to the office. Hermione took in a deep, panicked breath and rushed back, up the stairs and into the chambers. 

It took another moment for the Carrow to realize what had just happened and he grasped his wand and chased her. 

Hermione slipped on the flagstone floor, just in time to miss Amycus' stunner. The spell flew over her head and impacted with her stack of research on the desk. It caused the parchments to burst apart and fly all over the room.  The impact with the floor dazed her but she ignored it as she pushed herself to all fours and scrambled to the other side of the bed while Amycus cursed at the parchments obscuring his view. 

Once she was behind the bed she was glad she'd kicked off most pillows and blankets in her impatient frustration earlier. Hermione quietly moved some aside and flattened herself against the floor before she tried to push her under the bed, feet first. It was an incredibly tight fit, too tight she realized when she could feel something scratch at the top of her belly. 

"Now where did the Mudblood go?" Amycus' asked lightly. 

Hermione grit her teeth, angled her body in a different way and waved her hand for a cushioning spell. She pushed herself further under the bed. She closed her eyes and attempted to regulate her breathing, it was hard to do so while she felt pressure from all sides. What was the underside of the bed even made of? 

"Here kitty, kitty." Amycus cooed in a high pitched voice. Hermione squeezed her closed eyes, goosebumps erupting all over her skin at his tone. She could hear the Death Eater's heavy steps as they moved around the room. 

Carrow had a wide, predatory grin on his face as he stamped his feet deliberately hard with each step. Parchment crumpled under his heels as he made his way to one of the desks. He grabbed one of the tall chairs and loudly dragged it towards the center of the room. While he did that his gaze was almost fixed on the bed where he knew his prey was hiding. 

"Pretty little mudblood," he spoke softly "don't fear, I am not like dear old Severus. I'll treat you nicely, just come out of hiding." 

Having her breath under control Hermione's mind was racing with possibilities of escape. Could she use magic? Should she? Severus would be found out. Her whole body quivered with fear and she bit on her lower lip, hard to keep from crying. Worst of all, she couldn't make out where the Carrow was, did he know where she was hiding? 

She became deathly still when she realized she couldn't hear him move around the chambers any longer. She started when the blankets near her were pulled up harshly and she cried out when Amycus laughed with joy. 

"There you are!" 

"No- No- No!" Hermione shrieked right as he grabbed her hair and forcefully pulled her from under the bed. He dragged her down the dais and to the chair in the center of the room. Blood tracked down her legs where pins from the bed had dragged along her skin. She tried to keep up, pushing herself closer to him to ease the pressure of her hair until he dropped her on the floor. 

She moaned in pain and brought up her hands to the tender skin of her head, tears leaked from her eyes. 

"Aren't you a feisty little thing." The Death Eater spoke "Severus must have his hands full with you, no wonder he keeps you on hand." At this she twisted to lay on her side and glared up at Amycus defiantly. He laughed with a mocking edge to his tone. 

"Still has his work cut out for him, eh? Someone should teach-" 

"Amycus." Severus' voice cut through the blood pounding in Hermione's ears and whatever the Death Eater was about to say. She relaxed as she let his familiar voice wash over her.  

"What exactly do you  _think_ you are doing?" Severus' tone was soft but cold, it was one Hermione had heard only a very few times. One time when Harry had done a truly stupid, dangerous thing and once to Sirius Black. 

"Severus!" Amycus said with a wide grin, clearly he was not as practiced at interpreting the many varied tones of Severus Snape as Hermione was. "Your pet was escaping, I found her in your office." The Death Eater looked down at her still form, she didn't dare to move. "I was about to punish her accordingly." 

"Hermione," Severus spoke, ignoring his colleague. Her head snapped up and she looked towards him. "Come here." He eyed her seriously and Hermione gulped and nodded, slowly she stood her legs felt a little unsteady as she made her way over to him. Severus looked over her injuries as she stumbled towards him and frowned, otherwise his expression remained neutral. 

He touched her cheek softly and then directed her over to the bed. "Sit and wait there." She gulped and nodded unsteadily before she sat down on the edge of the bed and stared down into her lap. 

"As you can see, Amycus," the Headmaster finally addressed the Carrow who'd been staring dumbly at the proceedings "she's quite obedient and in no need of your... Guidance." 

"Severus," Amycus groused "she was in your office, trying to escape!"  

"She has permission to enter my office to fetch me things," Severus said blithely "and if she tried to abuse that trust, the wards would take care of that." 

"Severus-" 

"Do you doubt my word, Amycus?" 

That pulled him short, and the Death Eater shook his head. "Of course not, Brother. I was merely worried, wouldn't want your toy to run off while you were out." 

"Of course, I appreciate your thoughtfulness." 

After a few more meaningless platitudes Amycus Carrow left. As soon as the door to Severus' office fell closed behind him Hermione let out a long breath and leaned forward. Her hands clasped in front of her were shaking slightly. Severus immediately rushed towards her. 

"Are you alright?" 

"I'm fine." She said, nodding. "I- I was so scared, I didn't know what to do." Hermione took deep, steadying breaths and tried to focus on just inhaling and exhaling. 

"You did well, Hermione." Severus whispered, he kneeled in front of her, brushing her hair away from her face. "You- you didn't use any magic?" He said with a questioning tone, he continued when she nodded "And you responded to my ques. That should be enough to convince Bellatrix to ease off." 

His hands trailed from her hair down her neck and shoulders. "What happened to your legs?" 

"I-" She took another deep breath and shakily exhaled "He pulled me from under the bed, it was a tight fit. Good thing I put a cushioning charm on the rest of my body." 

Severus nodded and pulled his wand. He muttered a soft spoken Episky and the small wounds on her legs closed. With a grunt he stood up from his kneeling position on the floor and sat down next to her on the bed. 

"I'm sorry-" She whispered "I knew I shouldn't have gone into your office." 

"It was very foolish." He agreed shortly. 

"I'm sorry."  

When he didn't respond they sat in silence for a while, she couldn't figure out what he was thinking while her own thoughts returned again and again to the moment when she'd turned the door handle. Why had she been so stupid? 

"How did it go at the party?" Hermione eventually asked and she looked at the man beside her. He looked tired, she thought, too tired for only having been gone a few hours. 

"The usual." He responded and shrugged "They clamor and grovel like starved rats for the last scraps at the feast. " he cut himself off, she could almost feel the tension radiate off him. "I'm going to clean up." 

Hermione nodded and watched him move across the room, she appreciated his figure perhaps more than was strictly necessary. She hummed and averted her gaze when he opened and closed the door to the bathroom quietly. Hemione sighed, sat up and waved her hand to vanish the copper colored bloodstains from her legs.  

She quickly put on a pair of clean clothes and snuck under the blankets of the bed, curling up on her side as she waited for him to join her. 

 

* * *

 

Hermione twirled the quill in her hands thoughtfully, dripping ink all over the parchment on her lap while she stared out at the cobblestones of the courtyard. Grass grew between the old stones, giving it a quaint feel. She sat on the stone bench, unbothered by the Scottish cold, swaddled in some of Severus' heavy robes and a wandless warming charm for good measure.  

The charm wasn't up to her usual standards, but a vast improvement on her first few wandless attempts. She sighed and glanced down at the ruined parchment. She waved her hand, and to her satisfaction the stains disappeared. She put down next to her the quill and leaned back to look up at the sky. 

The limited view she had was pleasant, small clouds passed overhead below a bright blue sky. She treasured her little courtyard and, while it was small and confining, it was much better than nothing. When the walls of the chambers crawled in on her, she escaped out here enjoying what fresh air she could. She tried imagining that she was in the main courtyard, writing down some notes while the other students walked around her going to and from their classes. If she squinted she could hear Harry and Ron walking towards her, laughing and calling her name. 

Hermione blinked as a faint breeze cooled the warm tears on her cheeks. She sat up and rubbed her cheeks, wiping away the unexpected tears. She took a deep shuddery breath and drew up her knees to rest her forehead. 

"They're fine." She whispered to herself. "They've destroyed the locket. They've found more horcruxes."  

She took another deep breath and wiped her nose on Severus' coat. She imagined the horror on his face if he were to see and smiled softly at the thought. With a sigh she rubbed a hand through her hair, ignoring the tangles and lifted her head. 

No Harry, no Ron. 

At least she was safe. 

At least she wasn't with Bellatrix. 

Hermione squeezed her eyes closed, and pushed those thoughts away. All memories of the dark rooms with the spell fire and the insane cackling she pushed deep into her mind. To a desolate corner where she'd never have to think about it again.  

She shivered and quickly got up, wrapping the robes more tightly. Perhaps it was too cold to spend so much time outdoors...  

Once inside she took off the heavy garments and neatly folded them over a chair. Hermione perked up when she saw a small stack of crumpled newspapers on one of the desks. She smiled as she picked them up and nestled into one of the cozy armchairs. 

As usual the front page of the Daily Prophet was covered in a huge close up of Harry with the letters 'Undersireable n°1' underneath it. She smirked, each day that Harry eluded the Death Eaters was a victory, a small one, but a victory nonetheless. 

The first page was a treatise on muggle-magical relations. Treatise was a generous word she thought as she eagerly summoned a quill and red ink. With an enthusiastic fervor she began to correct the treatise for grammar and spelling. 

By the time she reached the end, something about comparisons to bestiality, her fingers were splattered with red ink and a platter of tea and biscuits had found itself on the end table next to her. She put down the quill with a happy sigh and poured herself some hot tea before she continued on to the next article.  

After slathering a fourth article in red ink Hermione sat back with a sigh and twisted her wrist slowly. The joint cracked and she winced. She stared at the red soaking into the propaganda rag in front of her and closed the paper with a snap.  

"Bollocks. Bloody bollocks."  

She stood up, taking the plate with a few remaining biscuits with her to the bed. She plopped down on the soft mattress and stared at the office door while she munched on the biscuits. She hoped Severus would return quickly and keep her company... 

The next thing she knew a hand grabbed her shoulder. She sat up with a gasp and cast a wandless stupify. It fizzled out on Severus shoulder who quirked an eyebrow at her. 

"Very impressive." He said sardonically. 

"Sorry- you surprised me." She sighed and rubbed her eyes. She fell asleep, as usual.  

"I can tell by the crumbs on the bed." He grumbled and cast a quick Scourgify.  

"Sorry." She repeated again. 

"Were you..." He narrowed his eyes at her and Hermione shrank back slightly. "Nevermind." He said with a sigh and stepped away, to the sitting area. She heard him shuffle around the newspapers. 

"I see you've attempted to correct Rabastan's drivel again."  

"The grammar," she said "I'm afraid the content is beyond hope." 

"So were his Potion's essays, if I remember correctly." 

"You taught him?" Hermione sat up on her elbows and looked at him. He glanced up at her and shook his head with a frown. 

"I'm not that old." He groused "We were at Hogwarts together." 

"What were they like?"  

Severus put the paper down, resisting the urge to light it on fire. "You mean the Death Eaters?" 

"It's hard to imagine them as Hogwarts students, it's hard to imagine them as anything but monsters."  

He leaned back against the table and crossed his arms in front of him. 

"We were mostly like regular students; we went to classes, joined extracurricular activities, had social events." He shrugged. 

"… That's it?" She asked incredulously. He shrugged. 

"They weren't monsters, Hermione- Not back then at least." He sighed. 

Hermione chewed on her bottom lip and relaxed back against the bed.  

"Have you had dinner?" He asked. 

She shook her head. "Must've slept through it." 

Severus nodded, though she couldn't see, and called Bristol to bring a light meal. Reluctantly Hermione got up from her comfortable position and moved to the sitting area.  

"How was your day?" She queried politely. 

"Fine. Longbottom and his squad have started to graffiti the walls to recruit more members." Severus narrowed his eyes at her "Wipe that smirk off your face, you may think it's wonderful, but students are being crucio'd left and right." 

Her smile disappeared "The Carrows are trying to find who's part of the DA?" 

"Yes. No one is talking of course. They never expect this kind of resistance from children." He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly "Longbottom should just keep his head down, instead of inciting a rebellion."  

Hermione pressed her lips together "You think they should just take it?" 

"No, but this behavior is endangering their fellow students!" He glared at her.  

"Well don't blame me!" 

"Perhaps if you hadn't started that little club-"  

"Oh please!" She jumped up from her seat "We had to learn to defend ourselves somehow. Even if there hadn't been a DA, Neville would still be standing up for what's right!" She said indignantly.  

A steaming platter of food appeared on the table next to them. Hermione ignored it as she glared at Severus. She huffed and turned away when he remained silent.  

"You should eat." He said gruffly and sat down on one of the chairs. She glanced at him and rolled her eyes slightly at his crossed arms and mulish expression. 

"I'm not that hungry." She mumbled but sat down anyhow and began to put food on her plate. Severus poured himself some tea and took a biscuit. 

"There have been reports of snatchers encountering Shacklebolt." 

Hermione looked up from her plate with wide eyes. 

"I didn't read anything about it in the papers." 

"They've been keeping it quiet, the reports suggest he's working with Potter. They don't want the public to... Have hope." 

"Harry's working with Shacklebolt?" She mumbled to herself, setting the plate down on the table and leaning back. 

"Allegedly. You seem surprised." 

She frowned and nodded. "It was supposed to be the three of us." She hesitated "Finish a mission given to Harry." 

They remained quiet for a few minutes until Hermione picked up her plate again, unexpectedly hungry.  

"This mission..." Severus said slowly "It was given to you by Dumbledore?"  

Hermione nodded and Severus shook his head. 

"Leave the defeat of the Dark Lord up to three barely of age wizards with questionable intelligence. Brilliant." He raised his cup as if in a toast. 

Hermione huffed but couldn't find it in herself to disagree.  

"So Harry and Ron are working with Shacklebolt." She nodded "That's good." 

"Shacklebolt is a capable man." Severus agreed "However- Ronald Weasley has been spotted by snatchers several times, it seems they've split up." 

"What?!" Hermione yelled and jumped up, her plate falling to the ground with a dull thump. 

They stared at each other, Severus clearly surprised by her reaction. 

"We have to help them." She said fervently, dusted off her clothes and marched towards the office door.  

"Hermione-" Severus said calmly as he vanished the mess on the floor. "There's nothing you can do." 

"Yes I can!" She said, pointing at the office door "Harry needs me! He needs Ron- you don't understand," she shook her head at the look on his face "Harry- He's been- His obsession with the Dark Lord- with you! It's not good, he needs someone to ground him!" 

"I'm sure mister Weasley will find his way back to him." 

"What if he doesn't!" 

"What are you going to do about it?!" Severus yelled suddenly. Hermione jumped back and then shook her head. "We don't know where Potter is. We don't know where Weasley is. What are you going to do? Run around the countryside, shouting their names? Without a wand?" 

She crossed her arms and glared at him. 

"Hermione-" He spoke softly, holding up his hands in a placating gesture "I cannot let you leave. For now we are both stuck here."  

"There has to be  _something_ we can do." She pressed stubbornly. 

Severus stared at her for a few moments and lowered his arms. "Perhaps," he said carefully "come sit and let's think it over." 

He poured them both a cup of tea. Hermione cradled the cup in her hands and leaned back in the chair as she inhaled the warm fumes. She glanced at Severus over the rim of her cup, he sat bent forward in the armchair. Staring thoughtfully ahead while one of his long fingers slowly rubbed at his chin. 

"We want misters Weasley and Potter to be reunited, yes?"  

Hermione nodded. 

"As it were... I also have an object in my possession which needs to find its way to Potter." 

Hermione nodded again and cleared her throat. "Headmaster Dumbledore told me." 

Their eyes met for a long moment, his black gaze boring into her. She shivered and wondered, again, if she should tell him about their task. 

"Perhaps we can-" he paused "manipulate the situation so both objectives are achieved." 

"What do you suggest?" 

"We track down Weasley," She nodded, frowning "and use him as bait." 

"… For Harry?" 

"Once we have Weasley, we can release the information to some of Shacklebolt's contacts. Potter will come to rescue his friend." He explained further. 

Hermione blinked and frowned, taking another sip of her tea. "How do you expect to find Ron?" 

"I expect him to be hiding out with Bill Weasley, or the twins." Severus steepled his fingers together while he considered his half-shaped plan. "That narrows down the places he might frequent." 

"We grab Weasley, get the information to Potter and Shacklebolt, lure them to a place of our choosing, put up a figment of resistance-" 

"Wouldn't it be better to show them we are helping them? Perhaps they'd be willing to share information-" 

"The Order is not very trusting at the moment, not since my betrayal- And," he continued, cutting off Hermione "if they were to see you, my cover would be blown. That is something we cannot risk, Hermione. Or worse, they would suspect you of shifting allegiances." 

He stared at her with a serious gaze until she nodded uncertainly. 

"Harry would never believe I would betray him." 

"The imperius then." 

Hermione nodded sadly and leaned back, taking another sip of her tea. 

"Where do we start?" She asked quietly. 

"For now I'll see if I can locate Weasley and scout the environment."  

"What would you like me to do?"  

Severus paused for a moment. "Perhaps you can find a suitable location to lure Potter to." He pointed across the room at one of the bookshelves. "Dumbledore has a rather impressive collection of maps of the British Isles." 

 

* * *

 

That night Hermione lay in bed, wide awake. After tossing and turning for what felt like hours she gave up and just stared at the sky above her while she analyzed all of the information Severus had given her. Next to her Severus was snoring quietly. 

Ron and Harry had split up. She imagined there had been a row of some kind, they were both too hard-headed she thought with a sigh. She could almost imagine both of their faces as they argued inside that stupid tent- another sigh and she shook her head.  

She wished those snatchers hadn't found her, that she'd been more careful that Bellatrix- With a grunt she punched her pillow and lad back down. 

"Merlin's soggy whiskers, stop moving!" Severus suddenly said with annoyance coloring every syllable. 

Hermione froze and mumbled quietly "I'm sorry, I thought you were asleep." 

"I was." He grumbled and turned on his side, facing away from her. 

"I can't sleep." She whispered. 

She could feel him inhale deeply and let it out in a long sigh. "Really, I couldn't tell."  

"Do you ever think about revenge?" Her voice broke through the silence. 

 He opened his eyes and rolled onto his back. The rooms were dark aside from the soft light of a waxing moon above them. She lay stretched out next to him, and though it seemed unlikely he could feel the heat of her skin from under her blankets and across the distance between them.  

"I used to." He said after a while. 

"Not anymore?" She wondered and turned to lay on her side to look at him curiously.  

He sighed. "I..." He cleared his throat and closed his eyes "I held on to wanting revenge for a long time. In the end, it was meaningless and I did terrible things because of it." 

"Oh." She mumbled and scooted closer until she could lay her head on his shoulder. He moved his arm to make room for her and he slid it up her lower back until his hand rested on her waist. He squeezed her form lightly and she smiled. 

"Are you thinking about revenge, Hermione?" He asked quietly. He could feel her tense up for a moment until she laid her hand on top his chest and nodded.  

"Sometimes." She whispered sadly, as if confessing a crime.  

Severus turned on his side and pulled her closer to him. Their foreheads bumped together. "I understand."  

He didn't know exactly who closed what little distance remained between them but before he knew it they were kissing. It was a slow and wet exploration. She moaned into his mouth and he sucked in a ragged breath as their noses bumped. With an annoyed huff he tilted her face to one side and resumed the intense kisses. 

Severus made a surprised noise when he felt her tongue darting out to slide along his lips but he didn't hesitate to meet her. The feeling of their tongues sliding together, exploring her mouth was electrifying and he squeezed her body to his. She gasped and he could feel the swell of her breasts against his chest as she breathed hard and fast. 

"Hermione-" he whispered as his hands trailed down her waist and slid under her shirt to splay across her naked back. She hummed and arched into him. With a groan he leaned more of his weight forward, pushing her onto her back so he could lean over her. Slowly, he kissed the corner of her mouth and then down her cheek. Her lips were red and swollen as she gasped and moaned when he sucked on a sensitive area of her neck.  

Hermione moaned his name reverently and he could feel himself harden. With reluctance, he pulled back, his hands slid from under shirt and he pulled the ends back over her exposed stomach a little self-consciously. He sat up and scooted away from her. They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment, until they were both breathing normally.  

"It was a bad idea for us to share a bed." He finally managed to say and he averted his gaze. Hermione didn't, she kept staring up at him unashamedly.  

"I keep dreaming-" she said, cleanly ignoring his previous statement "I keep dreaming about what it felt like to feel you inside me." 

Severus turned back to her with wide eyes, his shocked expression made her smile. Whatever he'd been expecting, that wasn't it.  

"I want to feel it again." She continued as she moved closer, still regarding him seriously. 

"Merlin." He whispered to himself. She sat up as well, and leaned forward. She extended her arm and touched his shoulder carefully, sliding her fingers down to his chest. Severus gulped, and he could feel a trail of pleasant tingles follow her movement. He caught her hand and slid his thumb over her palm gently. She smiled and looked up at him.  

"It's a bad idea." He repeated but without much conviction. "If anyone were to find out..." 

"The only people it concerns are you and me." She inched closer and continued with an impish smile "And I want you." She bit her lip and blushed. Severus couldn't help but chuckle lightly and she scoffed at him from under her blush. 

"It's still not a good idea." He repeated for a third time as he tugged on her arm, pulling her closer.  

"Not a good idea is better than a bad idea." Hermione said primly before she slid her arms around his neck. 

"You're too young." Severus spoke before he literally dragged her into his lap, her legs wrapped around his waist. 

"You're too old." She responded with a grin, right before their lips met. 

 

* * *

 

She woke up tangled in bed sheets and Severus' limbs. Groggily and her still eyes thick with sleep she took inventory, one if his long legs was between hers and his arm slung over her waist. She was wearing one of his long shirts. Not a transfigured one this time, and she smiled as she remembered him putting it on her and slowly closing all the buttons with wandless magic one by one as he gazed at her. The memory of his undivided attention caused her stomach to twist in pleasant ways. 

Hermione flushed red when she remembered what they'd been doing before that. Despite her brazen words she was glad they'd kept their pants on. Though she would never forget the feeling of his slender fingers knuckle deep inside of her while his thumb rubbed her clit in agonizingly slow circles. With each twist of his hand his mouth had eagerly swallowed her moans. 

As if using his talented fingers hadn't been enough, afterwards when she came down from her orgasm she'd watched him lick his fingers clean.  

For a moment she wondered what Harry and Ron's reactions would be if they knew. Undisguised horror, probably. Quickly followed by rage. She turned her head to regard Severus and tried to view him as Harry did. A murderer and a traitor. All she saw was the man who saved her from a terrible curse, who shared his rooms with her and his already difficult life. 

She saw the man who made her heart race and her blood sing inside her veins. Well, she'd always been attracted to unconventional men. 

"You look like you're reliving some good memories." His tone was beyond smug but she found she didn't care. He shifted to face her more fully and leaned down to brush a kiss over her lips and then down her throat. She sighed and closed her eyes. 

"Good morning." She mumbled with a smile as she stroked his naked chest, and up his shoulder and neck and into his hair. Unlike his back Severus' chest was smooth and nearly untouched by any scars. He sighed slightly and closed his eyes. 

"What were you thinking about?" He wondered, she tilted her head and realized she'd never heard a tone like that from him. Playful. She grinned brilliantly and shook her head. 

"You'll never know."  

Severus chuckled and pressed another kiss to her lips before he carefully untangled himself. "I have to go." 

"You're late for breakfast." Hermione agreed with a small smile playing across her lips while she watched him avidly. He dressed quickly in his usual robes and turned to her while he buttoned up his robes. His expression was somber as he looked at the girl in his bed. She smiled at him. 

"This was still a..." he sighed "A not good idea."  

Hermione's smile widened "I have no regrets."  

"Perhaps not now." He agreed and looked away. 

"Will that opinion stop you from doing this again?" She asked earnestly. 

He frowned and regarded her suspiciously until he reluctantly conceded. "I don't suppose it will." 

"Good." Hermione said with finality. She scooted to the edge of the bed and sat up on her knees, she held out a hand and pulled him closer. Without hesitation, he lowered his head and they kissed slowly. "Have a good day." She breathed softly when she pulled back. 

He murmured something indistinctly before he made his way to his office all the while wondering what in the seven hells he thought he was doing and how it would impact his oaths to either master. 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So by the way, I noticed some errors in chapter 7 after posting it. I don't have anyone who does proofreading- if anyone would be interested, let me know. Hope you enjoy, I had some hang ups on this chapter and eventually removed part of it.

The day seemed to last an eternity, filled with the usual hubbub of being Headmaster and consummate pretend Death Eater. Despite that, each and every quiet minute was filled with turbulent thoughts of Hermione. 

On one side he was disgusted by himself and his weakness; succumbing to his physical desires for a woman young enough to be his daughter, someone who was supposed to be under his care. To lose focus over such a thing at a critical stage in the war when the slightest misstep could mean his death, and the death of so many others.

But he wanted her, he wanted the way she looked at him, and for some inexplicable reason she wanted him. The end of the day could not come fast enough.

Severus entered their quarters with his robes half unbuttoned and a bottle of elf-made wine clutched in one hand. He leaned against the closed door and observed the room quietly. Hermione sat on the bed, looking at him with her bright eyes. He could make out her flushed cheeks even from a distance, it pleased him, he had to admit.

He pushed off from the door and stepped towards her with more confidence than he felt. She still had not said anything and just looked up at him. 

"Have you had dinner?" 

She nodded. "You?"

"Yes." He lifted the bottle he held loosely in his hand "Wine?"

"Yes please." She said, pleasantly surprised and watched as he summoned two fancy glasses with a turn of his hand. Not even his dominate wand hand and she smiled when she took one. "Show off." She said with a smile and made room for him to sit down next to her. She leaned into him eagerly.

Severus didn't bother replying as he poured both of them a good helping of the dark red wine. Carefully he stoppered the wine and put it on the ground next to the bed. He turned to Hermione and they carefully pushed their glasses together, producing a clear noise.

"To the defeat of the Dark Lord." He intoned gravely. 

"And our survival." She said equally as serious. He huffed in disbelief but didn't correct her.

"I haven't had wine in a while." Hermione smiled.

"Dumbledore's stock." Severus said with a slight quirk of his lips as he lifted his glass and eyed the red liquid.

"It's good..." She twirled the glass in her fingers "I gave my dad a bottle of elf wine once." She spoke softly "we were saving it for a celebration... Never got around to it." 

Severus frowned as he studied her quietly. "There will be other chances in the future." 

Hermione shrugged and avoided looking at him. She glanced down at the bed covers. "I erased their memories and sent them to Australia with a whole new identity so maybe not."

She could feel his gaze on her like a heavy weight, but he didn't say anything for a long time. She could hear the slight rustle of his clothes as he took another sip of his wine.

"Can it be reversed?"

She shrugged again "Maybe? I added a trigger, but it might not work."

"Hermione-" He said softly. She rubbed her eyes quickly and looked at him expectantly. If he noticed her eyes were a little red he didn't mention it. "You made the right choice, they were a target and you protected them."

She nodded, though she still looked miserable.

"That doesn't make it easy, of course." He continued after a moment and slowly slid his warm hand over hers. She twisted her hand to clasp his and squeeze tightly.

"It doesn't." 

"You did everything you could. It was the right decision." He repeated, catching her eyes to look at her seriously. 

"Thank you." She whispered softly and smiled slightly. Their hands remained clasped, his thumb caressing her wrist. She closed her eyes and focused the feeling of the rough pad of his thumb stroking the sensitive skin of her wrist.

She felt him raise his arm as he drank down the rest of his wine. She followed his example and took a long sip of her wine. When she looked up she met his intense stare and smiled as she slowly licked her lips.

She blushed under his scrutiny and took another sip, she stared at him over the rim of the glass and licked her lips again afterwards. Slowly, deliberately.

His eyes tracked the movement again and then looked up at her heatedly. "Tell me," he spoke softly, his voice like velvet caressing her skin. It gave her slight goosebumps on her forearms. "Have you changed your mind since this morning?"

"About what?' She asked with a teasing smile. The wine left a pleasantly warm and tingling feeling in her belly. 

Severus took a sip of his own wine before he leaned down and put the glass on the floor next to the bottle. He reached out for Hermione's glass which she relinquished easily and he set it down with the other. When he turned back to Hermione she was already there, her lips finding his easily and her hands came up to caress his face and slide the tips of her fingers down his throat.

She tasted of the heavy elf made wine as their tongues tangled slowly and she moaned in apparent pleasure. "In fact," she whispered when they parted and her hands began to slowly unbutton the rest of his robes "I have not changed my mind since this morning." He made an approving noise in the back of his throat. "In fact," she repeated slowly as she charmed the rest of the buttons to open and she began to push the robes off his shoulders "I have not come to my senses, and all I've done today is-" she bit her lip uncertainly, the blush on her cheeks intensified "think about this, us."

His black eyes glittered as they stared at each other while she slowly removed his robes. She stopped when his white undershirt was hanging open, creating a tantalizing image for her. "Come here." He said softly. Hermione didn't need to be told twice and scooted closer. His arms slid around her, lifted her easily and dragged her the rest of the way into his lap.

He worked his warm but calloused hands up under her shirt and pulled it off, revealing her simple plain bra. Hermione made a surprised, but pleased sound when Severus' mouth closed around her nipple. His warm breath and the wet sucking sent a rush straight to her center and she gasped loudly.

His right hand pushed the other side of the bra out of the way, caressing her other nipple. She arched and pushed her hips into his. He pushed back, feeling his cock strain against the seam of his trousers.

Severus let go of the nipple with a pop and switched to lave attention on the one without a bra in the way. 

"Oh please Severus, Circe." She breathed as his tongue swirled and swirled around her peak. 

"Take it off." He whispered softly after he withdrew. She didn't hesitate for a moment and arched her back to undo the clasps of her bra while Severus peppered kisses over every exposed inch of her skin. He laughed huskily when she threw her bra across the room, before she silenced him with another kiss. 

While they explored each other she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and it joined her bra on the other side of the room. He chuckled, while he slid his hands up and down her eager body. He groaned when she scratched lightly down his chest before she began to undo his trousers. She laughed breathlessly.

"I want to make you feel good." She mumbled and he closed his eyes as he felt her hands slip into his boxers. "Tell me what to do." She whispered between open mouthed kisses.

With a groan he allowed himself to fall back onto the bed. 

"Take off my-" he didn't even need to finish, with a sharp jerk she pulled his trousers off and a wave of her hand got them out of the way. He pushed himself up, staring at the half naked girl studying his penis with a focused frown.

He reached out and took hold of his shaft, hard and red. His long fingers curled around it while he caught her heated gaze. She liked her lips and tentatively her right hand slipped under his and tightened around his shaft. His eyes fluttered closed and he breathed out heavily. She moved slowly up and down, looking from his throbbing cock, to his face and back.

"Is this good?" Hermione asked, though she was smiling a little smugly.

"Faster." He said shakily and groaned as she sped up. Another load groan echoed through the room and he arched into her fist jerkily when she sucked one of his nipples eagerly into her mouth. "Hermione-" he breathed, something akin to disbelief coloring his voice as he felt her move down his chest with more open mouthed kisses.

"Bloody- fucking-" He cursed when he felt her wet lips close around the head of his cock. "Merlin. Mng-" He squeezed his eyes shut and couldn't stop the slight jerk of his hips. Hermione made a surprised noise but quickly recovered, she pushed deeper.

"Tongu- Merlin- use your tongue." Obediently she pushed her tongue to his shaft and with his encouraging groans swirled it around his cock, laving particular attention to the head. His hands wound their way into her heavy curls and he pushed slightly.

Hermione spluttered and immediately pulled back, taken off guard. "Too deep." She said before clearing her throat and wiping some spittle off her lips "I need more practice." 

" Come here.”  Severus whispered, he sat up and moved to her, pulling away her hair and pressing lingering kisses to her shoulder and neck. She  met his lips eagerly. 

"I want you."  Hermione moaned, arching underneath him in an obvious hint.

"I want to fuck you." He said heatedly, grabbing her hips tightly "But we can't- No potion."

"What?" She asked dumbly before she moaned as one of his long fingers slid into her pussy. He closed his eyes for a moment imagining the slick tight heat around his cock. 

"I want to." He breathed staring at her head thrown back and her mouth open in a soundless moan as a second finger slid into her. "I need to brew a contraceptive."

"Merlin." She moaned as she felt the drag of his fingers in and out of her pussy. Her own hands slid down his chest and grasped onto his shaft. The fingers knuckle deep inside of her faltered and he groaned.

Slowly he pulled his fingers out, curling them carefully so they dragged over her sensitive walls. He touched her clit gingerly with his soaked fingers. Hermione whined and squeezed her eyes closed. He chuckled lightly and tugged her to the edge of the bed.

"What?" She mumbled, confused. She gulped when he kneeled on the floor in front of her and pushed her legs open, his large hands splayed on her thighs. She grabbed on to his shoulders and hesitantly pulled him closer, pressing their lips together. They kissed slowly, tongues dancing together as her hands traced every part of his upper body.

Hermione gasped loudly into his mouth as two fingers easily slid into her cunt. His tongue mimicked the movement and she tilted her hips, pushing into every thrust of his fingers.

"Severus." She gasped at a particularly deep thrust and a delicious twist. He kissed his way down her throat, leaving a trail of wet saliva as he kissed a path down her tummy, hips and pressed a kiss right above her labia. 

Severus glanced up with half-lidded eyes and he moaned at the perfect picture Hermione presented. She was staring down at him while leaning back on her arms, her chocolate colored eyes were wide and her pupils dilated, a flush covered her cheeks and crawled down her neck and chest, her nipples were hard points, still damp with his saliva. 

Their eyes locked as Severus pushed up one of her legs and hooked it over his shoulder. He could see her take a deep gulp right before he bent forward and licked a path from her vagina, still stretched around his fingers up to her clit. 

"Ngh- oh lord-" Hermione gasped out. She could feel his chuckle vibrate against her inner thigh and she squeezed her eyes closed as his fingers resumed their slow fucking while his tongue swirled around her clit. The feeling of his wet tongue was unlike anything she'd ever done to explore herself.

"Seve-" She twisted, but as soon as she moved, Severus' arm clutched around her hips and held her down. His fingers sped up and then slowed, gently he added another and resumed the steady motions while Hermione grabbed hold of the covers, squeezing them harshly as she cried out her pleasure. 

Hermione's moans pitched higher and higher and he could feel her walls begin to flutter around his fingers. He sped up the steady movement and pushed his tongue flat against her clitoris. She arched against him with a high-pitched moan as she fell over the edge.

After a few moments she lay gasping, her pussy still contracting around his fingers while he gazed at her debauched form. She blinked up at him with amazement and grunted as he slowly withdrew his fingers. 

Hermione tiredly pushed herself away from the edge of the bed, holding out a hand to him. Severus didn't hesitate and let her pull him over her.

"What do you want me-" She breathed but he hushed her.

"Stay like this." He mumbled as he trailed his wet fingers over her naked flesh. With his other hand he firmly grabbed his cock and began to jerk himself off with long practiced movements as he studied her.

A little apprehensive at first, Hermione started to touch herself; feathery caresses over her breast and stomach. An approving groan from him emboldened her and she slid one hand down to her cunt, sliding a finger through her soaked pussy and sliding it back up leaving a trail of her own juices leading up to her breasts.

"Fuck- Hermione." He whispered brokenly and closed his eyes. 

Hermione moaned, and arched up under him; letting her nipples ghost over his chest and pushing her soaking cunt towards his cock.

"Soon-" He promised darkly "I'll take you- properly."

She nodded with a small smile, as she touched his face reverently, running her hands through his hair just as his breath hitched and he squeezed his eyes closed. Severus groaned loudly, the noise giving her a thrill. She could feel his hot come drip down onto her stomach and he collapsed, at the last second he managed to twist slightly as not to crush her but they lay together, limbs tangled and his come mixing with hers.

 

* * *

 

The next day Severus had left early in the morning, after one of the Carrows had come knocking on the office door. He'd kissed her lightly on the temple before sliding out of bed and getting dressed with a wave of his hand.

Hours later Hermione woke up and to her surprise a small cauldron was simmering on a portable stand near the desk. She rubbed her eyes sleepily as she slid out of bed. As soon as her bare feet touched the stone floor she pulled them back and summoned a pair of warm socks. She put them on before she stepped towards the cauldron.

The potion was a nice mauve color, and tiny bubbles popped on the surface as it simmered quietly. She cleared her throat when she realized it was the contraceptive and she was glad Severus was not in the room to see her blush. She wanted to have sex with him so they needed a contraceptive... Very logical, she nodded. Still it felt a little strange that he was brewing so they could have sex, she chewed on her bottom lip nervously.

A few ingredients were set out on the desk to her right and a note. She picked it up and squinted at Severus' familiar scrawl.

_1:15PM add crushed Silphium_  
_Stir 5 times clockwise_  
_1:17PM add essence of moongrass_

Hermione laughed slightly as she read down the rest of the instructions, it was almost like potion's class. Except this time she brewed so she could sleep with the potion's master. At least he wouldn't demean her in front of class for her performance... She shivered and banished the thought from her mind. 

With a glance at a clock on the desk she decided there was enough time for a long soak and some wandless practice before she had to start crushing the Silphium. With a slight smile she entered the bathroom and turned on the tub's faucet with a wave of her hand. 

The tub filled quickly and she relaxed against the cool edge with a sigh, another book on wandless magic floating in front of her. After a few minutes of staring at the pages she shook her head, unable to focus on the words in front of her. She frowned and closed the book, sending it to the cabinet on the far wall.

"Am I forgetting something?" She wondered and idly drew some indistinct shapes in the foam around her. 

Another shake and she stood, less relaxed than before she started the bath. She stepped out and dried herself with a quick hand wave before pulling on her clothes. Perhaps starting to chop the potion ingredients early would help.

Over an hour later she was still sitting at the desk, ingredients untouched in front of her as she stared off into space. The slight tingle in the back of her mind had morphed into a roiling, nauseous ball in the pit of her stomach.

Entirely without any enthusiasm she finally began preparing the ingredients, and adding them to the steaming potion. The rhythmic chopping and grinding, occasional waiting, and stirring did very little to alleviate the worry rolling around in her stomach. 

At 5PM on the dot she took the cauldron off the fire and set it down on the desk, just as the door to his office opened and Severus stepped inside.

He greeted her softly as he looked over her shoulder at the potion.

"Why Hermione-" he said with a slight smirk "the consistency is not as thick as described and the colo-"

Hermione collapsed into one of the chairs, mouth falling open in silent horror. "I didn't take any contraceptive when we had sex last time." 

"What?" Severus asked, confused. 

"We had sex-" she looked up at him, wide eyed "and I didn't take any contraceptive! What if I'm pregnant?!" Hermione looked down at her belly and hastily began to feel for any kind of bump. 

"Hermione-" Severus said but was promptly ignored as Hermione continued to babble while she lifted her shirt to get a better look at her bare stomach. 

"That's so irresponsible! How could you be so-"

"Miss Granger!" He said loudly, in the tone she hadn't heard him use since her last potions class. Her head snapped up and she fell silent.

"Firstly, there was a contraceptive in de lust potion- who do you take me for?" He said with a sneer. "Kindly keep your accusations of irresponsibility to yourself." 

"Oh thank Merlin!" Hermione said, stood up and threw her arms around his stiff form. Severus sighed and patted her back, rolling his eyes.

"There there." He said dispassionately.

Hermione pulled back, and cleared her throat. "Sorry." She mumbled, embarrassment coloring her tone. 

"It's alright- though why you hadn't thought about that  _months_ ago..." He trailed off and eyed her critically. 

"I- I hav-" she narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her. "It didn't cross my mind." 

"Hmn." Severus said as he slowly ladled some potion out of the cauldron and poured it back in. "Well I can throw this one out."

"Why?" She asked and sidled up to him to take a peek at the potion. She winced as she finally realized what it looked like. "Bollocks."

"If only we were in class," Severus sighed wistfully "I could've given you your first T." 

Hermione stepped back and glared at him. "This would hardly constitute a T. Didn't blow up, now did it?" 

"Must've been a near thing." He ladled up some more of the potion "Look at this consistency, my instructions clearly stated stir five times clockwise-"

Hermione threw her hands in the air, exasperated. "Sorry for ruining it!"

"Your whole reputation is ruined." Severus continued blithely, as he waved his wand and vanished the failed potion. "Minerva will be so disappointed." 

"You're a menace." Hermione grumbled and flopped face down on the bed. Severus, while chuckling slightly, cleaned up the rest of the brewing equipment. 

"Come ," he said "let's work on your wandless magic, perhaps you'll do better than brewing." He quirked an eyebrow at her crumpled form on the bed. She mumbled something into the sheets, before slowly dragging herself up and off.

 

* * *

 

Hermione dove behind the stone bench in the courtyard just in time as the lime green light impacted on the stone with a loud bang. She could hear some of it crumble. Practice some spellcasting, he'd said she thought uncharitably.

"More like blow off some steam at wandless targets." She grumbled to herself.

"Come on now, Granger!" He said loudly, "Where's the overachiever?!"

Hermione took a deep breath and glanced over her shoulder, around the sides of the bench. Severus was still in his original position, staring towards the bench she was hiding behind while he waved his wand in figures of eight, to warm up his wrist.

She narrowed her eyes at his challenge and with a twist of her wrist water began to spray from the dried-up fountain and straight at him. He swiveled out of the way elegantly, not a drop touching his robes and Hermione took advantage of the moment to jump over the bench and wandlessly push some gravel and stones at him. 

He ducked to the left and avoided that as well. Hermione cursed.

"Reducto!" She yelled and stretched out her hand. For an instant her hand lit up with a blue glow and then fizzled out, causing tingles all over her hand and lower arm. It felt like ants were crawling up and down her arm. 

"Bollocks!" She cursed again and shook her hand harshly.

"Too much determination, not enough deliberation." Severus advised as he stepped towards her. He held out his hand and she reluctantly allowed him to clasp her wand arm. He waved his wand over it a few times and the painful tingling subsided.

"Thanks." She said with a frown.

He nodded and then held out his wand, handle first to her. She took it, by now it felt less strange in her hand, though not as natural as her own wand ever did. She sighed and smiled at him.

"You're doing fine," Severus said "the average witch or wizard needs years to learn the basics of wandless magic, most never learn- or never attempt it"

Hermione nodded "How come you're so good at it?"

"Survival." He said simply and then added with a smirk "And I am not the average wizard."

She rolled her eyes. "Silly of me to ask." She lifted the wand with a raised eyebrow and he nodded, both taking some distance from each other. 

With a flourish they started again.

 

* * *

 

They switched wand a few times that night before they called it quits, both panting and sweaty as they entered the headmaster's chambers through the secret passage. Hermione glanced at Severus as he rolled his shoulders slightly before he dropped his robes on one of the chairs. 

At the very least she made him work up a sweat, this time, instead of him standing there and casually countering everything she threw at him. His white shirt clung to his sweaty shoulders and back, accentuating the tight muscles. She pressed her lips together and tried to find something fascinating to stare at.

"Your countering is much improved." He said quietly, drawing her gaze back to him.

Hermione smiled. "Thank you, that's high praise coming from you."

Severus shrugged and eyed her movements as she took off her own robe and laid it over his, she smiled up at him. 

"Did you want to wash up first? I can ask Bristol for some-" She suggested and then wavered as his black eyes narrowed at her slightly. Hermione gulped, the heated look in his eyes was familiar to her now.

He bent down, his lips tracing over her cheek gently as his hands trailed down her arms and up her waist. He toyed with the edge of her blouse.

"Why don't you join me?" He whispered into her ear, his low sensual voice caused her to shiver. She closed her eyes and sighed, turning her head and allowing him to trail wet, open-mouthed kisses down her throat. His warm hands slid underneath her blouse and up her naked belly and waist.

"Well?" 

She opened her eyes slowly and smiled, she could feel her face burn underneath his gaze. She nodded. 

He took her hand in his and pulled her forward towards the bathroom door. She followed his taller form eagerly. When the door clicked closed behind them and the lights had flickered on Severus pulled her to him, bending down and slotting their lips together.

 

* * *

 

The next evening Severus  had returned to their chambers later than usual, and immediately began to prepare to leave.

"Why can't I come with you?"  Hermione demanded angrily

"Because we need stealth, and sneaking is not one of your finer qualities." Severus explained calmly as he shrugged on a thick  gray woolen coat. 

Gone were his stark dramatic robes, instead he wore neutral clothing which looked distinctly muggle. He wouldn't look out of place in any kind of British town.

She crossed her arms and glared at him. 

"You told me I could help." She said icily.

"You are-" he carefully slid his wand up his sleeve. "You can find a safe location to lure Potter."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." she threw her hands in the air "You go enjoy a nice breath of fresh air. I'll just wait here in your blasted rooms like a good little pet." She turned away and sat down on the bed with her back to him.

"We can't ris-"

"You've already explained." She interrupted him rudely, keeping her back to him. "Do as you like."

Severus stared at her ramrod straight back and sighed as he pushed an old dilapidated wallet into his coat's inner pocket. He patted down his coat and trousers, nodding when everything seemed to be in order.

"Hermione-" He started hesitantly and faltered.

"Just go away." She said, to his surprise she sounded tired "I want to be alone."

He hesitated for a moment and then twirled around, disapparating with a quiet pop. 

Hermione let out a shuddery breath and slowly laid down on her side. Her mouth twisted sadly and she quickly rubbed her eyes to wipe away the dampness. She wondered when she would be able to leave the rooms, would she be stuck here until the end of the war? 

Would Severus keep her locked up forever? She frowned, and sighed. She could hardly blame him for his caution, but a part of her had hoped he trusted her enough... Thought her capable enough to at least take her with him on a simple scouting mission. She could come up with a good disguise, her transfiguration skills were up to par- if she could use his wand.

She shook her head and pushed off from the bed. She paced the length of the rooms several times, clenching and unclenching her fists, her thoughts a chaotic mess. She stopped on one end of the rooms, hand on the knob to the small courtyard. Hermione turned and looked towards the other door on the opposite side of the room, the door to Severus' office.

Before she realized it she was touching the handle of the door to the office. Part of her wanted to throw caution to the wind, screw Snape and his rules. Then she recalled what happened last time she acted so rashly. Slowly, she dropped her hand and sniffled, unable to help more tears from gathering in her eyes. 

Hermione took a deep breath and wiped the tears away, cursing her weepiness of late. She blearily observed the room, her prison, and narrowed her eyes. She wouldn't stay here forever, no matter what Severus said. But she needed a plan, and a convincing disguise.

She opened Severus' big, stately wardrobe and eyed his old black robes, a smile slowly forming on her lips.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some warnings for people who need them. They're spoilers so they're at the bottom.
> 
> This chapter was beta'd by Ginger_Witch, for which I'm very grateful. After that I started editing some things, and removing some things, and editing some more things. I felt bad it took so long so I didn't send it back to her. As such any mistakes are mine :)

Wandless transfiguration, turns out, was harder than she had originally hoped. Hermione cursed as she glared at herself in the mirror, her hair looked like she'd let it dry out by the lake on an especially windy day. She grabbed some of the strands and held them up to her eyes.  

Curly, dry, and not blond. Just her regular hair, if not more impossible than usual, after having thrown spells at it for fifteen minutes. 

She heaved another sigh. If she was having such trouble changing her hair color- how could she hope to change her facial structure?  

With some difficulty she pulled her riotous hair together and put it in a tight bun before she exited the bathroom. 

A pile of books sat on the floor beside the bed, most of them detailing human transfiguration and a few books on knitting and tailoring charms. The charms were easy, she thought as she sat down, but changing her own looks was harder than expected. 

Hermione grabbed Severus' old robe and with a wave of her hand a needle began to sew neat stitches. She held up a small hood, and turned it over in her hands with a sigh. At least the cloak was coming along nicely. But she had to figure out how to hide her face... 

She grabbed a long piece of parchment filled with a detailed and colored mindmap. She scratched out 'transfigure face' before looking over her other options. 

"Longer hood?" She mumbled and shook her head. She trailed the end of her quill over to her robe specifications and nodded. "Perhaps a notice-me-not...?" 

Hermione considered this for a long time, weighing the pros and cons. She bent back over the parchment to scribble the charm down, deciding to consider it some more. She started to pack all of her things together, bundling it all up in the long cloak and shoving it under the bed. 

For a moment she considered the badly hidden disguise, and crossed her arms. Feelings of guilt gnawed at her, she shook her hands to dispel the uneasy feeling. She wouldn't be stuck there forever, Severus be damned. 

 

* * *

 

 

In the early evening they found themselves again in the little courtyard flinging spells at each other. At the rate and intensity they were practicing Hermione found herself improving in leaps and bounds, spellcasting with, and without wand. 

If Severus noticed, he didn't show it. But, Hermione thought seriously, he had always been a hard to please task manager. At least when he wasn't angling to get in her knickers afterwards. 

With a very unexpected pop he suddenly appeared behind her and pressed his wand into her neck. 

"Distraction will get you killed." He spoke gravely. 

Hermione pushed his wand away with the back of her hand. "Apparating is using an unfair advantage, headmaster."  

Severus shrugged. "You should always use every possible advantage." He sighed when she didn't respond and instead stepped towards the bench to pick up her things.  

"You're still angry," he observed coolly. 

As an answer she glared at him over her shoulder. He watched her put on her coat while he twirled his wand in his hands absentmindedly, a heavy frown on his face. He followed her as she opened the doorway and stepped through. 

With a muttered spell the torches on the walls turned on, bathing them in the flickering orange light. They began to ascend the stairs. With each step she could feel his gaze burn into her back and she gritted her teeth.  

When they almost reached the last step, he cleared his throat.  

"Hermione-" He started when she ignored him, "You must see why you can't join me on these... excursions."  

Hermione stopped and turned around with her arms crossed. Their position on the stairs made her slightly taller than him, as they stood close to each other. A rare view. The light from the torches created harsh shadows on his face, emphasizing the shadows underneath his eyes, and the size of his nose. She glanced away, not liking the intimacy of their closeness.  

"You're right," she said, "But it's also easy for you to say, isn't it?" 

His eyes narrowed at that, like cold obsidian. She'd sparked his anger. "Nothing about any of this is easy for me," he hissed. 

Hermione pressed her lips together, unable to counter.  

"I can't be locked up like this until the war ends." She paused for a moment and added, "Whether you want to or not."  

They stood in silence on the steps. Hermione gasped in surprise when she unexpectedly felt his hands softly caressing her waist, their eyes met and locked. 

"What are you planning then?" he wondered, squeezing her waist between his large, warm hands lightly. She blinked stupidly for a moment and then slapped his hands harshly.  

"Are you using Legilimency on me?!" she shouted, outraged.  

The way his shoulders stiffened slightly was answer enough for her. She swirled around and hurried up the stairs. At the top she turned and looked back at him. "You're a right bastard!" 

The door to the chambers closed behind her with a loud and solid bang. 

Hermione marched to the bed and sat down with a frustrated growl. The nerve, she thought angrily, the arrogance to abuse her trust- to use their connection- to distrust her after every- her inner monologue ended as her eyes guiltily slid towards the part of the bed where she was hiding her cloak and half-assed escape plans. 

"Argh!" She threw her arms in the air as she jumped off the bed and started to pace frantically, her thoughts bouncing from one side to the other.  

The door opened with a click and Severus entered. They stared at each other cautiously from across the room. 

"Hermione-" he began softly. She shivered at the sound of his smooth voice, "I-" He hesitated and glanced away. "There is-" he paused and looked up when Hermione suddenly stormed at him, "wha-" he croaked as she surged up to swallow whatever he had been saying. 

Their lips crashed together, she pulled him down to her harshly, bending him over at an uncomfortable angle. With a groan he grabbed her around the waist and hiked her up instead, falling against the wall for support as her legs clamped around his hips. 

They wasted no time as their tongues tangled together. Hermione moaned into his mouth, causing him to scratch lightly at her waist as the sound went straight to his cock. 

He pulled her tightly to him, pushed off from the wall and turned around- managing to slam her into it for leverage.

"Ow." she moaned slightly in pain. He paused for a moment, hands holding tightly onto her thighs, and he studied her.

"I'm fin-" she whispered and cut off into a moan as his hand found a way in between her clothes to cup her breasts. She gasped and her head thumped against the wall as she arched up into him while his hands feverishly pushed and pulled at her blouse. Finally freed from her garment Hermione moaned loudly as his hot mouth immediately attached to her breast. 

"Please Severus- Please-" she begged as his tongue swirled around the nub. Each lick sent a wave of pleasure over her body, down to her center. Her hands clutched at his shoulders, one sliding up into his hair and tightening in the long lengths. She felt his pleasured shudder run through his frame.

"What do you want?" he asked, releasing her nipple with a wet pop. He looked up into her eyes, his black gaze locking onto her.

"You." she breathed with a small smile as she started to pop open button after button on his shirt, exposing the pale skin of his chest inch by inch.

He leaned forward and she closed her eyes in pleasure as his sensual voice washed over her.

"The things I'll do to you, witch." he promised silkily while his hand made its way down her belly. She closed her eyes in pleasure as his sensual voice washed over her. His fingers teased over her belly button before he deftly began to open her pants.

At the sound of the zipper opening Hermione sighed as his dexterous fingers slipped inside her panties and teasingly trailed over her mound and labia. She tightened her grip on his shoulder and pulled him closer, their lips meeting in a heated kiss.

He parted her labia just as his tongue slid inside her mouth, trailing over her own. He grunted as she shifted, pushing her hips further into his hand, urging his fingers to where she wanted them.

"Always so eager." he murmured between kisses.

"Is that a complaint?" she asked sweetly as she pinched his exposed nipple mercilessly.

"Hrmng-" he moaned as Hermione repeated the motion. She gasped loudly when his fingers easily slid into her wet pussy. He pushed up harshly, twisting his fingers inside of her.

Hermione opened her mouth to say something but the steady push and pull of Severus' fingers caused sparks of pleasure to course through her body and all that came out of her mouth was an unintelligent moan.

"Severus." she gasped as his thumb found her swollen clitoris without losing his steady rhythm. She took a deep breath and looked up. His dark gaze was fixed on her, taking in her flushed cheeks, the way she twitched in pleasure when he twisted his hand in a particular way.

"Open your pants already!" Hermione suddenly demanded, put out.

"I'm a little _busy_." He chuckled, not pausing the steady pumping of his fingers inside of her. He squeezed her thigh where he was holding her up with the other hand. He didn't wait for her reply and sealed his lips over hers.

Unable to argue with that she shifted slightly, worming her hand between them to undo the buttons on his pants. She could feel the hard bulge of his cock through the fabric. The angle was awkward and she had to twist her arm slightly to get inside and grasp his cock firmly.

He groaned into her mouth and pushed his hips up, his fingers inside of her faltered for a moment before picking up the pace.

"Tighter." He gritted through his teeth. Obediently she gripped his shaft tighter and jerker her hand.

Perspiration beaded on his forehead and he carefully moved the hand gripping her thigh, shifting their position until there was a bit more space. He thrust his hips, and groaned at the feeling of his cock sliding through the tight circle of her hand clenched around him.

"Hold it right there." He whispered. He looked into her glittering eyes as slowly he pushed a third finger into her sopping wet opening while his thumb circled her clit. Her eyes closed, she leaned forward, their foreheads touching and breath mingling as they both panted harshly.

"Sever-" he cut her off with an unexpected twist of his fingers, and he spread them inside of her. She clutched to his shoulder and cried out with pleasure. When he felt her walls begin to flutter, he picked up the pace and pushed his thumb onto her clit, pushing her over the edge.

Hermione came with a lengthy moan, she shuddered around him and her hand dug painfully into his shoulder. She gasped when he pulled his fingers out of her hurriedly, missing the fullness as her walls contracted around emptiness.

He clamped his hand over hers on his cock, tightening her grip and thrust his hips forward.

Still not entirely come down from her high she stared dumbly at the determined look on his face. She squeezed her hand around him and he cursed, jerking into her unsteadily.

"Want me to suck you off?" She offered breathlessly.

This caught his attention, he eyed her feverishly and shook his head as he jerked forward unsteadily twice more. He squeezed his eyes closed and groaned loudly as he came. She felt his warm come drip over her hand, and his still damp with her own.

"Merlin." he panted into her neck. Tiredly, her legs lowered from around him to the floor, the hand on her thigh slipping off. The only thing still keeping them standing was Severus' weight pushing them against the wall.

“Was this like angry make up sex?” she wondered, still breathing harshly as she leaned her head back against the wall.  

Severus huffed in amusement, the short exhalation felt hot on her skin.  

“Depends,” he rumbled into her skin, “have we made up?”  

He stepped back after a few moments, carefully helping to steady her on her wobbly feet. She clutched at his shoulder until she felt stable enough while he straightened her clothing a little. An obvious lost cause if his own rumpled state was anything to go by.

Realizing the same, he summoned his wand and set them to rights with a few spells.

“I haven't decided,” she finally said and avoided his gaze. “I don't like what you did. I don't want to be here.”  

“I won't apologize.” he turned away, bending down to pick up his robe. He dusted it off perfunctory and put it back on. 

“Color me surprised,” Hermione mumbled to herself. She dragged a hand through her curls, pulling through a few tangles. “Are you going somewhere?” she asked just as Severus grabbed his cloak from the wardrobe. 

“Yes. Pembrokeshire.” 

"Where Bill and Fleur live."  

He looked at her, from the set of his jaw Hermione realized there was no chance he’d allow her to come. She felt oddly betrayed all over again, and scoffed at her own naivete. If there was ever a person who wouldn't let a good orgasm cloud their judgement...

She nodded tightly and forced a sarcastic smile on her face. “Good luck then. I’ll just be here, waiting for your return.”  

He inclined his head and swiveled on his heels toward the office door. Hermione’s expression soured at his turned back, and she glanced toward the bed where her things were hidden. 

She needed a plan, something, anything, she thought desperately. 

 

* * *

 

As usual these days, her anger and frustration led her straight to the bath. A hot, relaxing one- filled to the brim with colorful foam and bubbles. Hermione heaved a long sigh as she floated in the water.  

Her mind churned with uncharitable thoughts aimed at the unreasonable potions master. She understood his precarious position but there were always options...  

She huffed and took a deep breath before submerging her whole body in the water, enjoying the pressure and the feeling of weightlessness. For a few long moments she couldn't hear anything except her own heart-beat and the water bubbling around her.  

Hermione sat up, breaching the water and taking in a deep gulp of air while she pushed her hair out of her eyes. With a nod she climbed out of the bathtub and padded over to the mirror and her towel. She observed herself critically while she pulled her hair up and charmed it to stick so she could properly dry her body. 

She frowned and turned sideways, prodding at her slightly protruding belly. She had been eating quite a bit, but she usually got a good workout dueling with Severus. She blinked and stepped closer to the mirror, cupping her breasts speculatively. They seemed bigger too- and her bra had been feeling uncomfortably tight lately. She glanced at the offending garment, slung over one of the counters. 

Hermione shook her head.  

"We both took a contraceptive," she reminded herself, "that makes it very unlikely." She nodded and patted her belly. As soon as she touched it she bit her lip. She had been eating a lot, and a lot more things she usually didn't like so much. She hadn't had her period since August... But she was under a lot of stress- it was normal to miss a few. 

"Merlin," she whispered to herself in disbelief, "Please let me be wrong." 

 

* * *

 

 

The tiny light the book described in horrific detail played over her belly. It was a pale purple, violet would be a better word, though the text had stated the shade of purple could vary from woman to woman or pregnancy to pregnancy. 

"Fuck," she whispered.

With a wave of her hand the light disappeared. Without the light there was nothing indicating the bundle of cells growing inside of her. Clinically, she counted back towards when she and Severus had slept together, on her birthday. About ten weeks. Was it still a bundle of cells at this stage? 

Her hand hovered over her belly, she didn't dare touch the skin. 

"Bastard knocked me up," she mumbled and sat down on the bed. She lowered her head to her hands, tightening her grip on her curls. "I'm pregnant with Severus Snape's child," she mumbled and imagined a small child with her curls and his nose. She shuddered. 

She looked up, detangling her hand from her hair with an annoyed huff. The room was a bit of a mess, covered in books and stacks of parchment and quite a few nearly untouched platters of food. Hermione frowned, she'd forgotten to eat dinner. And why did Bristol keep bringing plates with biscuits, had she really been gorging herself on those without realizing?  

Hermione threw the book behind her, it fell to the ground with a dull thud but she refused to care about damaging it. Besides the charm to detect pregnancies and helpful advice about symptoms, it was also filled with drivel such as knitting tips and tricks for when the husband is away at work. 

With a frustrated shout she stood up and kicked the book halfway across the room. She took in a deep breath and squeezed her eyes closed as she bent over in abject misery. 

"Why did this happen?" she moaned pitifully, "Why?"

She felt fear clutch at her, a cloying sensation at the base of her throat. Slowly, tears leaked out of her eyes and she wiped them off her face furiously. The chambers were dark, night had fallen while she was in a frenzy looking for detection charms. Hermione took in a deep gulp of air and flinched at the sound of her own gasping breaths.

She couldn't stay here. She needed to get out. 

Hermione staggered to the door to the hallway that would lead to the courtyard, throwing it open with more force than necessary. She eyed the stairs, they looked hazy and unsteady. While shaking her head she leaned into the wall at her back- and a knob dug into her hip. 

With a gasp she turned around, the shock cleared her thoughts for a moment. She touched the knob hesitantly before turning it. It opened into another servants' hallway. She didn't hesitate for a moment and ran down the hallway and before she knew it a door at the end opened at her touch and she stumbled into the cold December night. 

The grass was wet, but luckily there was no snow. Though she wouldn't have cared as she kneeled; her pants slowly soaking through while her fingers grasped at the grass. She was outside, for the first time in  _months_. Slowly, she looked up at the dark sky.  

The moon, though waxing, gave off enough light to see a few lazy clouds- dark outlines against the black sky- drift overhead and stars twinkled cheerfully.  

Hermione took in a deep breath, filling her lungs until they protested painfully and exhaled. With her gaze transfixed on the sky she kept breathing in and out carefully. When finally her breathing returned to its normal pattern she closed her eyes for a moment and then looked down at her dirt covered hands. 

Where was she?  

At a distance, she could see Hagrid's hut and the Forbidden Forest beyond that. The hut's curtains were drawn and no smoke came from the chimney. Hermione realized, with some relief, that it was quite late- unlikely for any students to be out. 

She looked to the left and sighed- she could see the empty entrance courtyard. Her eyes tracked the long bridge which would lead her to Hogsmeade, and away from Hogwarts. 

Hermione gulped as she stared at her possible escape route. Where would she go? Wandless, on the run, and pregnant. Who would take her in? She blinked guiltily. Could she abandon Severus? He was a suspicious, ill-tempered bastard but he tried, she knew- for her. And now she was pregnant. 

"Merlin-" she whispered, hiding her face in her hands "why did this happen?"

Slowly she stood up on wobbly legs, she could feel them pinch and prickle, like a thousand ants were crawling under her skin.

"Urgh-" she grunted and shook her leg, trying to restore feeling to her limbs.

She stood there for a moment, staring at the bridge leading away from Hogwarts and she sighed. She needed to talk to Severus. 

 

* * *

 

 

By the time Severus returned from his visit to Pembrokeshire it was almost late enough to be early. Yet Hermione was wide awake, sitting in an armchair near one of the windows.

"Did you find him?" she asked quietly. 

"No." He spoke curtly while shrugging out of his traveling cloak. After hanging it up neatly he stepped towards Hermione, looking out over her shoulder at the courtyard. She felt his warm presence at her back and she sighed softly. 

"I have some bad news." Hermione stood and looked at him. She stalled at his appearance, he looked tired and wrung out. Despite this his eyes were clear and alert. She bit her lip, and looked away. He had been right before; it wasn't easy for him either. 

"Well?" he prompted with a heavy tone of impatience. 

"I'm pregnant," she mumbled, avoiding his eyes. 

Severus blinked and then rolled his eyes. "Perhaps your memory is leaking, but we've already establish-" 

"I know-" she cut him off, "nevertheless, I performed a spell to check and-" 

"Well you performed it  _wrong_." 

"My spell casting is certainly up to par for a simple detection charm!"  

"Show me," he growled as he pulled out his wand and stepped closer. Without meaning to Hermione backed off, she raised her hands as if to calm an angry beast. 

He took a moment and, in a calmer tone repeated the request before twisting his wand around, handing it to her handle first. 

Hesitantly, Hermione took the black wood and held it gingerly before pointing it at her belly. With a perfectly executed flick and swish, and a soft murmur, the violet light appeared over her clothes. She looked up at him nervously. He stared back with a puzzled frown. 

She opened her mouth and a strangled little moan came out, quickly she cleared her throat and clarified. "Violet means pregnant."

He swiveled on his heels without a word and stepped to one of the many bookshelves. 

"The section you're looking for is two rows down to the left."  

He threw her an annoyed glare over his shoulder but crouched down to read the book spines there. After a moment he plucked a book from the selection and opened it to the directory. His finger calmly slid down the list, when he found what he was looking for he opened the book to search for the page. 

Hermione sighed and made her way towards him, halfway there she just sat on the bed with a dejected expression on her face.  

Severus held out a hand and she returned his wand without a fuss. With the book in one hand, and his wand in the other he did a slightly more complicated wand movement and intoned the spell gravely. 

The little violet light flickered pleasantly over her tummy. She looked up from the light to him, pressing her lips together at his horrified expression. They remained silent for a moment until Severus slowly sat down next to her on the bed. He lowered his face into his hands, a move of utter defeat. 

They sat like that as the sky lightened outside slowly but surely.  

"I need to get ready," he spoke softly. 

"You haven't slept," she protested, turning to him. 

"It's fine." He kept his face turned away from her worried gaze and he stood up. "We'll talk about this later."  

"What is there to talk about?" she asked, as she looked up at him sadly. "I don't want this. And I can't care for it." Their eyes met and held. He looked exhausted. 

"We'll talk later," he repeated and left without another word. 

Despite her worries, Hermione fell asleep on the bed quickly- exhausted to her core. 

 

* * *

 

 

Severus came back earlier than usual, when Hermione had just started a late lunch after sleeping most of the day away. He looked like death warmed over as he sat down with a heavy sigh across from her. She imagined she didn't look much better, though at least she'd got some sleep. 

He stared out the window while Hermione chewed on her sandwiches.  

"Have you eaten?" she asked carefully. He didn't answer, lost in thought. 

"You should have some." Hermione grabbed an empty plate and put some meats and cold vegetables on it. She put a bun on top and put it in front of him, then held out some cutlery. 

He sighed and reluctantly took the fork and knife. Hermione waited until he'd taken a first bite before lifting her own plate again. They ate in silence. 

When Severus soaked up some of the sauce on the plate with the last of the bun and ate it with relish he leaned back in the arm chair with a heavy sigh. Hermione had finished long before him and had been staring out the window. She turned to look at him when he cleared his throat. 

"Hermione-" he spoke softly, and hesitantly- he hadn't spoken to her in this manner since she'd first arrived. She noticed he did not look near her. "Something must have gone wrong with the contraception, this was not intentional."  

"I didn't suspect it was," she said with a frown.  

"Hmn," he mumbled and leaned back in his chair while he rubbed his hand over his tired features. "What do you want to do now?" 

"I don't want this," she repeated, the same as the night before. "I'm too young to be a mom- and we're at war." She glanced up at him but his own eyes were still averted. "What do you want?" 

"Hah," Hermione startled as a dry snort came from him. "I've never wanted children. If you were to have this child, the best thing I could do for it would be to die." 

Hermione pressed her lips together in displeasure. She wanted to correct him, but he didn't seem to be in the most receptive mood. 

"So it's decided," she said with a gulp. 

"Yes," he agreed and finally looked at her. His normally alert eyes were dull with exhaustion. 

"I'm not sure-" 

"You're in luck, the best way is by using a potion. And I happen to be the best potions master in the isles. Especially after the Dark Lord killed off my only competition." His mouth twisted bitterly and he looked outside. “I can brew it.” 

Hermione gulped and looked down at her lap. “Thank you,” she whispered quietly. “When?” 

“We can gather the ingredients tonight.” 

“We?” she said, surprised. 

“It will be safer if you gather some of them.” He looked at her until she nodded and then he stood up. “I’ll be in my office.”

The door closed behind him with a click, leaving Hermione by herself. She sighed heavily and cleared their plates, putting them in a neat pile for Bristol.  

 

* * *

 

 

Severus remained in his office for the rest of the day, leaving Hermione to flit around the rooms nervously. She tried all the usual things, spell casting out in the small courtyard, a relaxing bath …. After ten minutes she always found herself back in the chambers, sitting on the bed, and biting her nails until there was no nail left. 

Increasingly her thoughts churned and churned over the decision. She felt physically nauseous with tension and deftly avoided all of Bristol's offerings. She was making the right choice, she knew.

Hermione swore when the nail of her index finger began to bleed. She stood up and moved to sit at one of the desks with a huff. She grabbed a napkin from a box on the desk and held it to her finger, ignoring the slight sting.  

She looked at the maps she'd halfheartedly been looking at the past few days, trying to find a suitable location for Severus' plan. She bunched up the napkin around her finger to hold it in place and stood up, turning her head sideways to read the spines of the books closest to her. 

Gingerly, she pulled one out. 

 _Mapping the unmapable by Antonia Creaseworthy_  

An old book, telling by the style. The pages were yellowed with age but it was in impeccable condition, possibly because of numerous protective charms Hermione thought. She sat back in the chair and opened the book. 

The writing was archaic, and often difficult to understand. Hermione quickly grabbed enough parchment to begin making notes to make sense of the old English.  

Antonia Creaseworthy, headmistress of Hogwarts, and apparently a master Arithmancer. The book was more of a notebook filled with measurements, complex calculations, and personal thoughts of the headmistress. 

Hermione flipped through page after page of analysis of the geography of Hogwarts. Halfway through the headmistress had seemingly given up on mapping the inside of the castle. 

She frowned when reading that, and flipped back to an earlier section she'd skipped in her hurry to get ahead. 

 

 _"When I first began this task, the complete mapping of our beloved school, I started with the focal point of the castle; the Great Hall. The Great Hall has remained the same, by records and oral tradition, since the conception of the castle by the four founders. Therefore, the Great Hall would be the most static part of Hogwarts._  

 _Nothing could be less true, no less than fifteen measurements were taken; at different times during the years, different times of day or night. Always the numbers were different. The Great Hall appears to be in a constant state of change._  

 _During my time measuring and mapping the intricate network of corridors, hallways, and ever-changing stairs I have become very familiar with almost every part of the castle. Moreso than any other student or teacher. It is with a heavy heart I put my quest to rest; the castle cannot be mapped. Or rather it does not want to be."_  

 

Hermione flipped back to the previous section she was at. She could feel the disappointment of the Headmistress dripping from the pages. A few pages were filled with comical, bare shapes of rooms and sections of the castle; Antonia's halfhearted attempt to do something with the years of data she'd collected. Until finally Hermione came upon the next passage. 

 

 _"It has been seven months since I last wrote, mapped, or calculated anything. I had given up on creating anything which would resemble even the most rudimentary of maps._  

 _During an excursion on the fourth floor, I came upon a rare sight; a service hallway. I have of course read Arthurius Black's account as the last human servant at Hogwarts, but it was the first time I had seen one of the hallways. In truth, I had thought they did no longer exist..._  

 _After all this time, a whole new section of the castle has opened up to me. Perhaps with this I can complete my map."_  

 

The next few pages detailed a few hallway entries, one she recognized as the hallway she entered almost daily to go to the courtyard though the door seemed to have moved to the other side of the room... And then nothing. The rest of the book was blank. 

Hermione sat back in the chair, staring ahead while her thoughts were a million miles away. If the hallways were still accessible she could use them to move around- like the one she found the day before. She could come and go as she pleased. But she could hardly set out to explore them herself, with no way of knowing where she could end up. 

She frowned and picked up Antonia's book again, turning the pages to another anecdote. The Headmistress often described the castle as sentient, with a mind of its own. Did she really  _find_  the hallway to the outside the day before? She had walked past the door many times and there had never been a door knob. Had the castle shown her the way out? 

With a shake of her head she closed Antonia's book and placed it on the desk. She took a look at the other books on the shelf, some were familiar from her first year when she'd been obsessed with knowing everything about Hogwarts. Even then she'd wondered why there were no maps.  

Except there was a map- The Marauder's Map. Hermione's eyes narrowed. How did four fifteen-year-old wizards create a magical map while others such as Headmistress Antonia had failed? 

She grabbed the unfamiliar books about Hogwarts and the grounds and set to reading. 

 

* * *

 

 

Time passed as she poured over the books, her one true haven had always been books. With a new subject to focus on she managed to set aside all other things while she searched for more information about the servant's passages. There were some mentions of them in the older books but the newer ones seemed to shrug them off as long ago absorbed by the ever changing castle.  

When daylight had receded Hermione had lit a small light on the desk almost absentmindedly while she continued to flip through the books trying to find what she was looking for. She sat bent over the desk, with her book pressed right up to the light, and her eyes squinted to make sense of what she was reading when suddenly the room was flooded in bright light. 

She startled and sat up with a shriek. She turned in her chair and blinked owlishly at Severus standing at the top of the stairs to his office. He looked at her with a neutral expression except for his mouth, the slight downward tilt of the corner of his lips indicated... something. Displeasure? Impatience?  

Hermione wondered when she became such an expert on the expressions of Severus Snape, professional blank mask. 

"You'll damage your eyes that way," he said.  

Hermione nodded. Disapproval, that's what his expression meant. Severus took her nod as acquiescence and Hermione was happy to leave it at that. 

"Did Bristol give you any warm clothing?" Severus asked before he moved to his wardrobe. 

Hermione shook her head and answered in the negative. 

"It's cold out-" She remembered the cold from the day before- even though she had barely felt it then. "We can transfigure some of my old robes and boots." 

She froze where she sat. Would he notice a robe missing? Her eyes strayed to the bed where her disguise was hidden. He'd definitely notice the boots missing. She hadn't even started on them, dragon hide was resistant to her magic. 

Severus seemed to be none the wiser as he pulled out a robe and, to her relief, a pair of old boots. He set them on the ground with a thump and pointed at them.  

Five minutes later he had resized the boots and robe to fit her comfortably and added an impervious charm to both for good measure.  

"Thanks," she said, huddling underneath the robe. Her jealousy spiked at the ease with which he performed the magic while she had been working for hours doing it all wandlessly. He handed her a soft, dark green scarf and nodded.  

He held out his hand. "Come."  

Hermione gulped and grabbed his hand tightly. He pulled her close to him, and they looked up at each other for an instant before he turned and apparated them out.  

They arrived with a slight stumble at the edge of the forest. The icy wind felt biting and Hermione ducked into the scarf, wrapping it around her quickly. She took in a deep breath and, looked around her. She didn't feel eager to be outside as she had expected, as the weight of their purpose settled on her shoulders. 

"Stay close," Severus ordered and began to step with confidence. 

"Everything we need is in the forest?" she asked as she hesitantly trailed after him. 

He grunted in an affirmative. "The rest I have in stock." 

They continued on their way, despite her past experiences in the forest she felt safe with the ominous stalking form of Severus Snape paving the way. She quite imagined other creatures running in the opposite direction of him. She would. 

After what felt like an hour of travel Hermione had worked up a good sweat trying to keep up with Severus' long-legged pace. They came to a small grove, the trees thinned and plenty of weeds and small delicate flowers grew under and over the tree trunks. 

“Are you sure about this?” he asked, breaking the complete silence between them. He stopped on the edge of the grove and glanced at her. 

“Sure about what?” she said with a frown as her focus was almost entirely on navigating the wet mud of the forest. 

“The potion.”  

“Yes.” she said tersely, with a glower at his back.  

“Have you thought-” 

“Have I-  _Have I thought about it_?” Hermione shrieked, “What do you  _think_?” She held up a hand and began to count the reasons on her fingers. “Oh yes, let me pop out this baby in the middle of a war, with no family to help, no money to pay for anything, no education, no idea about raising children, and probably no father around because he’s convinced he’s going to die!” 

They stood in silence, Hermione’s heart raced erratically until she took a deep, calming breath. 

"Yes," she whispered sadly, "I'm sure." 

Severus nodded tightly and made his way towards one of the trees. He squatted down and waved her over. Cautiously, she kneeled next to him. He pointed at some of the tiny yellow flowers growing among the weeds. 

"Silphium." 

"Yes," he said, unsurprised she'd been researching, "technically a cousin but they have the same properties. You can tell by the slight discoloration of the petals." He delicately pushed up one of the tiny flowers to show her a slight reddening of the petals near the edge. "In this case the root is what is valuable to us."  

"To harvest ..." he continued solemnly, and for a moment Hermione wondered what it would have been like to have this Severus teach potions instead of the bat of the dungeons. She imagined him, at the front of the class, calmly giving instructions. 

"... And that is when you eat them raw and you'll die from poison- is there something more interesting happening, Hermione?" He glowered at her. 

"I'm sorry, I was distracted."  

He clenched his jaw tightly, to her horror he  _now_ looked like her angry potions professor. She looked down meekly and mumbled another apology. 

A few moments passed until Severus resumed his lecture. 

"To harvest," he repeated, "you grab the flower tightly, make sure you are holding a good deal of the stem, twist and pull." He demonstrated with a fluid motion and pulled out the flower with the root still attached. 

"Then you lower it gently into the bag, so not to damage the roots." He stood with a grunt and brushed some mud off his robes. "We need five roots, six to be sure."  

Hermione nodded. "Don't I need gloves of some kind?" 

"The potion will react better if these are harvested by you specifically, if they touch your skin. No gloves." He crossed his arms and stepped back. 

She gulped and grabbed onto the first flower. With a rough twist she snapped the stem and pulled off the top half of the flower, the roots still securely in the ground. Hermione sighed, of all the subjects at Hogwarts, she had never really taken to Herbology. 

After three more failed attempts she could feel sweat beading on her forehead with the pressure of Severus' dark eyes looking over her shoulder. When she accidentally ripped off the flower of the fifth she made a long, annoyed sound in the back of her throat. 

"Here," Severus said and kneeled behind her. She shivered at his warm breath on her neck. He grasped her hand and gently put her fingers in the right position around the flower and a good deal of the stem. "Now press down," he continued to speak quietly, right by her ear. She did as he asked. "Now twist your wrist and pull up firmly." 

With that she managed to pull up the plant just as he had.  

"Good," he mumbled, she could feel his lips ghost over her neck right before he pulled back and straightened. "Now four more." 

Soon, with his calm instructions she had pulled out seven of the plants with roots attached and carefully deposited them in the bag Severus held open for her. He closed the bag and held out a hand which she took gratefully as he helped her to a standing position. 

He pushed her long hair out of the way to brush some dirt off her shoulder and she smiled up at him.  

"Come." He tugged at her hand, clasped in his and they made their way back to the edge of the forest at a more sedate pace. 

When she could see Hogwarts through the trees she slowed and stopped. Severus looked at her over his shoulder.  

"Will I be okay?" she whispered, her voice breaking at the end and her eyes tearing up. 

He moved in closer to her, not quite touching aside from their joined hands. "I will make sure of it, Hermione." 

She closed her eyes, spilling tears down her cheeks, she pulled him close enough to wind her arms around him and squeeze his too thin form. He hesitated and then gathered her close, returning the embrace. 

"You're going to be fine," he repeated, feeling absolutely powerless as she sobbed into his chest. He gently trailed his fingers through her long hair, comforting both her and himself, even if he wouldn't admit it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for pregnancy, mentions of abortion


End file.
